How do I know if it's love?

What is love?  It's Valentine's Day and couples everywhere are probably saying "I love you" to their special someones right at this moment.  I wonder what they mean by "love".  We hear that love is blind, love is like a rosary full of mysteries, love takes time to heal if you hurt so much...

What is love for you?  Have you ever said I love you to someone? Are you confused about the meaning of love?  How do you know if  your love is real?  Bible verses contain much wisdom about love. Read these and you'll see that much of what we want out of love and a great love is written  in the Bible.



My Lover is mine and I am his. - Song of Solomon 2:16




So Jacob worked seven years to pay for Rachel. But his love for her was so strong that it seemed to him but a few days. - Genesis 29:20

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. - Song of Solomon 8:4

Who is this coming up from the desert leaning on her lover? Under the apple tree I roused you; there your mother conceived you, there she who was in labor gave you birth. Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned. - Song of Solomon 8:5-7




And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. -1 John 4:16

We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. - 1 John 4:19-20

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. - Proverbs 17:17 

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. - John 15:12-13

Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD. - Leviticus 19:18

Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs. – Proverbs 10:12

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.  -Ephesians 5:25


however, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. - Ephesians 5:33


Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God - 1 John 4:7

After breakfast Jesus asked Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”

   “Yes, Lord,” Peter replied, “you know I love you.”

   “Then feed my lambs,” Jesus told him. - John 21:15

But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. - Romans 5:8

The second is this, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." - Mark 12:31

Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; - Romans 12:9

Above all hold unfailing your love for one another, since love covers a multitude of sins.- 1 Peter 4:8

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!  1 Corinthians 13:1-8

Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love. - 1 Corinthians 13:13

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. - John 3:16

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and he who fears is not perfected in love.  We love, because he first loved us. - 1 John 4:18-19

But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 1 John 4:8

Aren't these love bible verses beautiful?  I pray that everyone finds the Greatest Love of All Today (and no, it's not learning to love yourself).  Happy love day to everyone! :) 

29 ways to stay creative

The Lord said to Moses, “See, I have called by name Bezalel the son of Uri, son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with ability and intelligence, with knowledge and all craftsmanship, to devise artistic designs, to work in gold, silver, and bronze, in cutting stones for setting, and in carving wood, to work in every craft. ...~Exodus 31:1-6 ESV

My favorite is #29... which one's yours? :)

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When people we love hurt us

When people we love hurt us, the usual desire is to change their feelings. We think that if just strive harder, love stronger, be more positive, be more attractive, then they'll come around and stop hurting us.  Well, let me tell you something.  Love is not something that we earn by being more beautiful, being more loving, being more compatible, being more faithful, being more and more and more for the other person.  These actions are a natural outpouring of our love, but we can't force someone to return these feelings just because we felt or did these things for them.  Love is given freely to those we love.  When we love just because we're getting something out of it, then that's not love.  That's emotionally abusing the other party.

when people we love hurt us </3

The next reaction would usually be the desire to get back at the person who hurt us. We want to act all screamy bitchy and maybe, please, could you gouge his eyes out and cut open his stomach and remove all his entrails just to get some revenge?

I wanted to do that.  I wanted to shout and curse and make the other party feel the extent of my pain.  But I couldn't.  I would have done it before, but I couldn't do it now.  The command is clear: In your anger DO NOT sin.  I could tell the other person how I felt, but I COULDN'T SIN.  I couldn't run over him with a ten wheeler truck or ram him with a bulldozer.  The anger in me felt that I could though, and what's more, that I SHOULD. And to tell you frankly, I did hurt many people back with my actions and words.

I struggled with that command.  I felt that God was restricting me.  That it wasn't healthy, that God was unfair and that he didn't care because the other person was just getting away easily with every hurt that he did to me.

does God care?
credit: ilovedoodle@flickr

I couldn't accept that God was asking me to do such an unhealthy thing as repressing my feelings.  Is God really unreasonable? Does God want to restrict me and make me live abnormally?  Why would he create me with feelings in the first place if I can't act on them?

When Christians are hurt, should we just keep quiet?  I grew up thinking that aside from not sinning, I should also never ever question God when I didn't understand Him, as doing so would also be a sin.  The bible discussions I attended the past months revealed to me just how false this teaching was.   I can absolutely relate to David when he poured his heart out to God and asked,

"Will the Lord reject us forever?  Will he never show his favor again? 

 Has his promise failed for all time?" 

The prophet Habakkuk is another example, crying out to God accusingly,

"How long, O Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen?"  

Yes, in our anger we shouldn't sin.  But in our anger, we can talk to God.  We can come to him and question him and struggle with him when the hurt doesn't make sense anymore.  Most of all, in our anger and grief, we can hold on to God and be assured that He is faithful.

God does listen and answer.  God answered me, but it took a while for me to understand, because it wasn't God  who wasn't listening.   I wasn't listening.  I didn't like what God was telling me, because it went against what I wanted. I wanted the other person to love me first and love me above all, but God was telling me to love Him, my God, first and above all.  I didn't hear God, because my eyes were focused on someone else.

In other instances,  God's answer became clear at a much much later time.  I'm sure that some of you had those moments when you said, "Ah, so this why this happened! I'm so happy that it did!"

 I don't understand many things until now, but I'm glad that I don't have a blind and mute wooden replica of a God who doesn't know how I feel.  Instead, I have a God who knows how it feels to be betrayed, denied and rejected by people that He loved.  I have a God who was whipped, crowned with thorns, mocked, jeered at, and nailed to the cross.  I have a God who called out to His Father, "Why have you forsaken me?"

True Love.
credit: flamable77@deviantart

When people I love hurt me, I CAN shout, scream, gnash my teeth, and just pour out everything to my Father.  Unlike other people who'll eventually get tired of my drama (I am such a drama queen when it comes to things of the heart, and you have this post as a reference) or who would just tell me to drink myself to death and party all night or to travel to forget my problems, my God offers complete healing.  What's more, I can be assured that I will eventually be redeemed from any pain, hurt, embarrassment and failure.

Christianity is NOT about hopping bunnies, bright sunshine and colorful flowers.  Christians also get hurt, mad, and angry.  We can spend seasons in the desert or in a battle.  Being a believer does not guarantee a problem-free life, but what it does guarantee is that we will always have a great God to help us go through anything.

PSALM 130. credit: Philip Davis

Is it okay for Christians to read Harry Potter?

I used to have a secret fantasy. I wanted to teach History of Magic in Hogwarts castle and finally give life to the sleep-inducing subject. Blame it on the magic of Harry Potter. Was I sinning by reading Harry potter?

If you would allow me to make a sweeping statement, I would divide the major book crazes of this generation into three:

Harry Potter
Twilight
and the most recent, Hunger Games

Another generalization I would make is that Harry Potter is the most widely-read book by both young adults and adults of this generation. You can call me biased, because I myself have devoured the Harry Potter books. Like a true fanatic (and geek), I debated over the political implications of Harry Potter 5 in the fansite Mugglenet.net, I got sorted into a Hogwarts houses through Harry Potter quizzes made by fans (I'm a Ravenclaw by the way), my favorite subject is Charms and Herbology, I find Divination stupid, and I reread the HP books before stepping into an HP movie.

Some fundamentalists and even evangelicals would probably condemn my fanaticism, saying that the HP books delve into the occult, encourage kids into witchcraft and homosexuality (yeah, Dumbledore is gay according to Rowling) and are the products of the devil. After all, the Bible itself condemns homosexuality, and specifically warns against witchcraft.

Some Christian defenders of the Harry Potter books have gone so far as to compare HP to J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings and C.S. Lewis' Narnia books which are Christian allegories and have Christian themes. They also cite the messages of love, courage, and friendship found in the HP books as proof of its "Christian message."

I myself would not go into either extremes. I have not gone into a full-length literary analysis of Harry Potter. But I do know that different literary theories could lead us to either conclusion -- HP as satanic, or HP as Christian. Before, I used to look at HP as communist since I was partial to that ideology before I got saved.

My point is that, from a Reader's Response point of view, we can look at books through different lenses. The Lord of the Rings books and Narnia books were written with our knowledge of the author's intention and Christian backgrounds in mind. These have contributed to the literary analyses that the books are Christian allegories. We can even go the way of condemning all fantasy books as demonic just by the characters' use of "magic". Heck, I have read analyses of other Christians condemning the New International Version of the bible as tools of satan!

Can fantasy and faith mix? (photo credit to: fantasybooksandmovies.com)

If we condemn fantasy books as such, then let's throw all other books into the burning pile. Oscar Wilde's classic The Picture of Dorian Gray shows us a hedonistic world. Shakespeare uses witches in his plays, but we don't hear an uproar over his books. And if you argue that witches and hedonists in these books are seen in a negative light, while HP has witches and sorcerers as heroes, then we can do away with Malory's Le Morte D'Arthur and all other books mentioning the "good" sorcerer Merlin. And what do we do with our Greek mythology, science-fiction, the Qu'ran, and The Tale of Genji? They're not Christian at all. They offer a totally different world and faith view.

Personally, I never read HP as a Christian book. However, it espouses values we can call Christian. I love how Rowling, with her own unique storytelling, weaves a tale of good versus evil. These values and themes are not exclusive to HP. We see them in various myths, legends, and other stories around the world. They don't necessarily make Harry Potter exclusively Christian.

Rowling's Hogwarts is not C.S. Lewis' Narnia which has obvious Christian allegories (note: some Christians will still disagree on the Narnia as a Christian allegory premise). But I wouldn't condemn Harry Potter and his friends to the stake either. Books, and things of culture for that matter, are tainted by man. NOTHING created by man is holy or pure. We may focus on elements of HP which are "demonic" and thus, conclude the book to be demonic, or we may look at HP through a Christian lens as other Christian writers have done. Or we may not look at HP from any religious lens at all.  Given the influence of HP, Christians  are more concerned about looking at the HP books from God's lens.

Are fantasy books dangerous then? I agree that these books can be used by the devil to tempt us, as there are numerous ways by which the devil can make us stumble. Even "good" things such as friends and family can lead to temptation. We live in a fallen world, but we cannot put ourselves in an isolated bubble so that we won't get "corrupted".

Our biggest concern should be the state of our hearts and our relationship with God when we read these books. For example, I read the Da Vinci Code before I became Christian. Because the author of this book CLAIMED that everything he wrote was real, and I never read my Bible, I was drawn into believing that the Gospel of Mary Magdalene and other Gnostic Gospels should occupy the same importance as the other Gospels written in the bible. Compared to Brown's Da Vinci Code, Rowling never gave me the impression that her magical world was real. I read it fully knowing that whatever was written there was fantasy. Also, even the Da Vinci Code was used by God in my life so that I could have a firmer stand right now about my own faith. My faith was not made weaker because I learned about Gnosticism. God gave me the choice to believe Gnosticism, but by His grace, I didn't. Now, I could say "yeah I know about that belief, but I still choose being a Christian."

HP awakens my imagination and is a literary experience, but I am also aware that the fantasy is not real. I'm also not "addicted" to it as I was before. I believe it was God who made me realize that He is the only One worth getting addicted to. When I read HP, I admire Rowling's talent and I celebrate its metaphors and its message of love. When I read the Bible, I know that I have the greatest history book, love story and written creative work in my hand. Reading HP does not negate my experience of the Bible.

If we ban Harry Potter, we might as well ban fairy tales and other stories created by man. In fact, we might even ask ourselves, can a Christian read any other book at all without sinning? We might as well ban TV, Facebook, and interacting in the real world which is filled with pornography, violence, real witchcraft, etc. Let's face it, we're not in heaven yet. We are all in a spiritual battle and just like Caspian in Narnia, we need to arm ourselves against the enemy. If a Christian is drawn into witchcraft, astrology, or the occult because of Harry Potter, then maybe he should stop reading it.  This may be a reflection of his heart or his lack of maturity in faith.  Maybe he's still too young to be exposed to such ideas.  Don't take my word for it though. Ask your parents, ask your Christian friends, ask your pastor, ask God.

When temptations happen, a Christian should pray, seek God's help, and read his bible to be reminded of the Good News. No message in any other book, after all, can compare to the message of the Gospel if you have experienced its reality in your life.



Recommended reading regarding this topic:

Harry Potter vs. the Muggles by Mike Hertenstein

A similar debate once raged over whether Christians could eat food that had been originally offered to pagan idols. They most certainly can, insisted the Apostle Paul, provided they can eat with a clear conscience and be mindful of those "weaker brothers" who cannot. But Paul never suggested that weaker brothers must set the limits for everyone.
- Mike Hertenstein

Silly Pet Quiz: Are you a chichi or a shobe?

I wanted to do a personality profile of my pets Chichi (a shih tzu) and Shobe (a halfbreed), but decided to create a personality quiz instead so that you can have fun too!

Everyone should take care of their pets...they give us much fun and comfort, and their personalities are so interesting! Answer the quiz below to find out which of my pets' personalities would match with yours :)

Bi
Quizzes by Quibblo.com

chichi and shobe

Bible Verse for today

The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. ~ Genesis 2:15 (New International Version)

Bible Reflection

In Genesis, God gave man the responsibility to care for all that He had created.  What do you do to fulfill this responsibility?

Gossip girl

I think everyone can relate to gossip.  It's interesting and even exciting to know about the lives of other people.  Either we start the gossip, join in the gossip, or become the victim of gossip.  I admit that I've done all.  Many of us unintentionally take part in gossip.  We are deceived or deceive ourselves that what we are doing is not gossip, but if you look closely, IT IS STILL GOSSIP.  

Gossip is creating stories that are not true.  But it doesn't stop there.  GOSSIP CAN BE TRUE.  When you talk about or even listen to the personal details about someone else's life, you're participating in gossip.  When you do this with malicious intent, it makes it worse.  But even if you don't, if you don't have permission to talk about it, then it is gossip.  Gossip can be disguised as casual conversation, but as long as you talk about personal details, then it is gossip.  

Gossip is closely connected to slander. When you say something which is false or damaging to someone's reputation, you're slandering the person.  

 We justify this wrong by many excuses, or we may do this unintentionally because we think the following:

- it is a way of releasing emotions. Releasing emotions is healthy right?

- we're just asking "advice" from someone else

- it's our personal form of retribution or justice.  He/She gossiped about me, I'll do the same to him/her!

 Gossip is hard to control because many find it fun and interesting.  When things get boring, we gossip.  When things get stressful, we gossip.  When we don't know what else to do, we gossip.  Gossip becomes a bonding session, a punching bag, a way of revenge and even amusement.  Before we know it, gossip has become a habit.

Sometimes, gossip can start with "this and that person is so irritating".  Even if we say things which are good about the person after a gossip/slander session, it doesn't make it any better. Let's take the following illustration as an example.  In fact, this is a usual conversation I took part in before:

A: I want to kill this-and-that person...arrrraggghh!

B: Why, what did she do this time?

A: blah blah blah @(#!!!)$)W* and blah blah blah @)@_### and you know what else??!! blah blah blah blah blah BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAAAAAHHH!!!!! arrrhhhggg!

C: You know, I experienced that too with her!!! I can totally relate!!!blah blah blah blah blah....

(bashing session for one hour while eating....)

B: This is why we should pray for this person.   Let's bless her.

We put more time in cursing that person than blessing her! In fact, I think the blessing just came as an afterthought.  In the end, what was left were only bitter taste of our badmouthing and foul tongues.  It was hypocrisy and we weren't even aware of it, because we were thinking that it was a "bonding" and "de-stressing" session.  We did this every time we got together, as if there was nothing else to talk about.  But at the end of the day,  WE NEVER EVEN SOLVED ANYTHING, and WE FELT EVEN MORE ANGRY THAN WHEN WE STARTED. The person was still irritating, we still hated her guts, and we were all still miserable with her presence.  We didn't know it, but this person had POWER OVER US.  She was controlling our emotions and our thoughts.

from nadeco.org

When we gossip, relationships are damaged, and some even completely fall apart.  It's hard to restore a relationship when trust is broken.  The worse thing, I think, is that gossip can take us away from things which are more important or worthy of our time.  We concern ourselves about the lives of others and judge and assume so many things when there are more worthwhile things to dwell on than "the shocking pink headband this person wore with her orange blouse and how bad her taste is in shoes and did you notice her huge earrings which just overpowers her whole face..which is an improvement actually, she should just keep that face covered all the time...that's why her husband left her even if she got a nosejob which by the way makes her whole face resemble Chucky...and I heard she's going to get bigger boobs next...as if that would make her husband come back, he's with a way younger woman now who does nothing all day but spend his money, that's why they had to rent that mousehole for an apartment....oh oh! Did you hear?!!! There's a rumor that the boss is going to finally reprimand her for her laziness! Serves her right! I have always said that she shouldn't even have been hired in the first place! You know what, I'm not really sure but I think I heard that she said that she's really irritated at you about something..didn't you notice, she wouldn't join you for lunch the other day? yeah, but you should ask her. I don't want to be the cause of gossip, you know"

There ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS than this.  Things like family, friends, faith, personal improvement, poverty, saving the whales, education, the state of the nation, the state of your heart!

Since I was also a victim AND promoter of gossip/slander, I can attest that gossip does more harm than good. There are psychological studies now that say that gossiping is healthy. But I find this self-centered.  Gossip can hurt, and sometimes, even the gossiper himself/herself is hurt by the gossiping he/she does.  I am very sorry for the times I even remotely joined in gossip.  I am just grateful that God enabled me to forgive myself, to reconnect with people I've hurt, and to pray for the people I am still irritated with. 

  

The only way to cure our gossiping and slandering is to renew our minds and our hearts.  What is in our hearts and minds will also inevitably come out of our mouths.  If we fill our minds with negativity or if we are constantly surrounded by negative people, then we will also exude negativity.  Sometimes, we cannot change our external circumstances.  Irritating and unpleasant people will always be there. We cannot control someone else's way of living. People or circumstances may be beyond our control, but there is one thing we have absolute control over -- ourselves.  Because God loves us so much, he didn't restrict us.  He gave us the freedom to choose.   We were given the freedom to choose what to listen to, what to believe in, what to absorb, who to hang out with, who are models will be.  

Admittedly, we also need to air out the stresses in our lives.  But we have to be careful about our motives and who to talk to.  Good friends will help us be stronger to deal with our struggles and will help us make right decisions...they won't fan the flames of gossip even more. 

I think it's good to be aware of the things we say that may intentionally, and sometimes unintentionally, hurt a person. Before we divulge stories, we may ask ourselves the following:

1) what are my motives for saying these things?

2)  is this true or merely assumption?

3) am I just saying these things out of anger, jealousy, irritation, etc.

4)  is this helpful or damaging? 

5) how should I phrase my words?

6) even if it's true, will it be more helpful or damaging if I say them? 

As a Christian, one of the biggest questions of course will be, will this please God?

I had to experience a lot of painful circumstances and some damaged relationships for me to think this way.  There are still times too when I falter.  My faith is one of the things which give me the hope that I may start over and be renewed in this area in my life.  It is not wrong to speak out against a wrong.  But there is a venue and place for everything.  When Jesus rebuked the Pharisees and called them hypocrites, he didn't backstab them, he did it right at their faces.  His motive was to expose a wrong, and He did all these things out of love.  Maybe even to give them a chance to change their ways. This can be attested by the gospel message.   When Jesus died, he died for all sinners, including those who persecuted Him.  He gave us the gift of salvation freely.  We just need to believe in our hearts and confess with our mouths that Jesus is Lord.  

I want to be corrected for my own personal gossiping.  I cannot place myself in an isolated bubble, but I can carefully choose the friends I spend time with and the things I talk about with them.  I can also devote my energies to better pursuits like music, writing, reading, reflecting...and you know what else is fairly interesting and needs a lot of fixing up to do? MY OWN LIFE.

Bible Verse for today

But whatever goes out of the mouth comes from within, and that's what makes a person unclean. ~ Matthew 15:18 (God's Word Translation)

Bible Reflection

Are you guilty of gossip, or have you been hurt because of gossip? Pray for the people you have hurt or who have hurt you because of gossip.

Face to Face: Protestants vs Catholics

      One of my greatest fears is to be blind.  To believe in something blindly that is.   When I was a Communist, I snubbed faith, thinking that it was the surest way to intellectual blindness and stupidity.  Now, with both my whole intellect and soul, I confess that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior.

      I am not a theologian or a professional apologist (and I don't really want to be one), but I am aware of the doctrinal debates between Protestants and Catholics.  For the past weeks, these have been  on the pages of my Google Chrome:

• Is salvation by faith or works?
• Should the apocryphal books be included in the Bible?
• Do Catholics worship Mama Mary?
• What is sola scriptura? 
• What is sola fide? (and all the other solas...)
• What is the one true church?

       I read both Protestant and Catholic blogs and websites. The links have taken me to other links including biblical translation, church history, the church fathers and even to debates on whether Lady Gaga is satanist or Christian and whether we should use pi or tau in our mathematical equations. The arguments are enough to condemn me to a lifetime sentence of squinty eyes and neuron overuse.  Not to mention, to make me into an armchair Christian for life (like an armchair journalist who doesn't experience the action but just relies on others' reportage) .

      Looking at the neverending commentaries on whatever commentary there is (you'll be amazed at how the comments can spread like fungus), I can empathize with people who would dismiss faith as man's grand myth, the philosopher's stone, the biggest hoax, or opium for the masses.  I can also understand why some are turned-off by how Christians spew verbal abuse at each other and still call themselves "brother", "sister" followed by the phrase "in Christ".   I was reminded of that local TV show called Face to Face which allows guests to proclaim their dirty laundry in public and go on a cat fight afterwards.  This was Face to Face online!   I was amazed at both the eloquence and the erudition of the language (some literary, some academic and some...well the best examples of slang and text language), but at the same time, I can't help but feel disgusted by all the verbal bashing.

      Then I wondered why I was feeling this way.  Doesn't the Bible itself tell us to test the spirits and warn us of false teachers and prophets? Aren't we just doing our Christian duty when we debate and try to search for the truth?  Shouldn't I also continue my search for the truth, so that I can confirm that my faith is real?

      Doing all this thinking made me stop and think about my personal testimony.  How did I have faith?  How did I know Christ?  How do I know that what I have now is real?  I was reminded of this bible verse:

Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. Luke 6:44.

 A quick Google search showed parallel verses:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness Galatians 5:22

My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.  James 3:12

But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. James 2:18.

      The bible is very specific about the fruits of the Spirit.   This may be a simplistic view for all other intellectuals out there who are raring to go on lengthy doctrinal expositions.  But when I see the fruits in my life, this is one way I know when I am going in the wrong or right direction. I realized that I was spending all the time poring over the debates, debating in my own head, that I have been distracted from my personal faith race with Jesus. I was also condemning people who were commenting on these doctrines (plus Lady Gaga).

     I  realized that I should also check my heart continuously whenever I go into scholarly study on doctrine or church history.   I understand that each denomination has a form of exclusivity because of biblical interpretation.   I also still believe that we should understand what we believe in.   In the midst of all these debates though, we need God's grace to do things in love and fix our eyes on Jesus who the Bible reminds us, is the pioneer and perfecter of our faith.

      My task as a Christian is to share the gospel, not to judge, condemn or convert anyone. God will do the rest of the work in that person's life, regardless of his faith.  For those who are going on a faith search, these debates may be important issues which deserve answers.  I trust though that the answers will come from God in a very personal way, edit: I HAD TO ADD THIS to guard against the dangers of putting primary experience over verifiable truth: AND IT WILL BE VERIFIED BY HIS WORD.   I may not give an adequate conclusion to this blog entry.  But I hold on to God's promise. It is not our lowly wisdom which holds the ultimate answer; it is God!

Truth is naturally divisive since it rejects what is false.  But in our defense of the truth, let's not forget that we should do so IN LOVE.  Maybe you will like this cartoon from theophilus.org as much as I did:

For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict. Luke 21:15

Going home

Today I was at a reputable University to decide on a job offer. As I passed by the school's halls, I couldn't help but take a glance at what was happening inside the classrooms. I was curious at what the professors were up to during the first week of classes.

Let me tell you that I was quite excited about this job. I felt that I liked it so much, I rescheduled another job interview with a company offering quite a high pay. Still, I couldn't help but feel a pang of envy as I watched these young professors leading their classes. Some were sitting on the tables (ahh...the benefits of being a college prof) or some were writing down course requirements on the board. The job I applied for was also connected to teaching, but it wasn't like my previous job as a high school teacher.

Anybody who has done any sincere teaching will tell you that being a teacher is special. It is not only a simple job, it is an advocacy. I love teaching. I love thinking about how I could make the complex simple, and when I fail, I love thinking and researching about how I can improve my lessons.

This year though, I had to leave teaching. I didn't have to if I wanted to, but for some reason, I just knew I had to pause for a while. I didn't want to stay where I was. I didn't want to get caught up in the daily grind for yet another school year. I had to plan and think and be more deliberate.

It was during the last months of summer that I enjoyed myself the most. I was active in church, I made new friends, I ate out a lot, I bonded with some of my students. This was the time that I focused on God the most. The joy I felt made me think that maybe I had made the wrong decision.

But all doubts were dashed when I reached home, unpacked my bags, and had a long rest in my own bed. For 11 years, I escaped from home. I wanted my freedom and independence. The circumstances haven't changed much. But now, I didn't have to escape to have freedom. The freedom I felt inside of me because of Christ was enough. I loved teaching, but if I stayed, it would be for the wrong reason. It was time to take that step of faith.

I am adjusting to being home again. I have just learned to appreciate God's comfort and provision during these silent times. Some may say I am a fool for leaving a decent job which I loved and which had all the chances for worldly promotion and reward. But my work is done there; it's time to move on.

Now, when I have breakfast with my mom everyday, and when my sister wakes me up in the middle of the night so that we could eat a choco and caramel sundae or watch a sitcom, and when I get to hug Chichi and Shobe everyday, I know that I am at the right place at the right time. And I could just thank God for this change of heart, because I never appreciated my family fully until this moment that He brought me home.

I love teaching, and God willing, I will be one of the best teachers I could be to my future students. But everything will be accomplished in God's time, not mine.

Regarding that job offer, I didn't accept it. I don't want to be arrogant, but as a good friend advised, I had to be at peace before I said yes to anything. When I heard their terms and conditions, I wasn't at peace at all. I wanted to pray and think before making a decision; they wanted me to sign the papers. Old me would have signed right away because of worry. I've learned though that making decisions on my own (without Godly friends and God) always got me into trouble.

So now here I am. And my two dogs are somewhere in this room snoring contentedly away. And I have all the time in the world to eat and write and blog and read and decide and pray. My mom's room is just at the end of the hallway, my books are within hindsight, my bible is on my own bed. I am home.

"Forget about what's happened; 

                                     don't keep going over old history.Be alert!

 I'm about to do something brand-new.

 It's bursting out! Don't you see it? There it is!

    I'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands. 

~ Isaiah 43:18-19 (The Message Translation)

Your Amnesia Girl

I often get teased because of my forgetfulness. Forgetfulness is a hassle because I can misplace the most important things - keys, wallet, cellphone. It got so bad that some of my former co-workers would hide my stuff just to teach me a lesson. What was worse though was when they started leaving things that were misplaced on my work desk. They thought it was but natural to assume that these misplaced things were mine. I found a drumset stand on my desk once...that was really weird because I DON'T play the drums. You might think that it's nice that I get to keep some cool stuff. It's not so cool though when you find some dirty men's long shorts on your table. No siree. That wasn't a pretty sight (and don't ask me how I managed to get it off my desk).

Being forgetful can also get embarrassing. I remember people's faces easily, so I'm being honest if I smile in recognition. But I'm really bad with names. You can imagine the agony when I have to introduce people.

Scenario: Abby Gaby with friend meets acquaintance on the road...

AG: Hi~! (rapidly searching brains for roster of names)

Acq: Gaby!!!

AG: Hi...errr...hi~! 'musta? (has to make a quick decision..introduce friend or not?)

AcQ: I'm okay! You?

AG: Ok din! (praying for an interruption)

After a few seconds of awkward silence (the decision DOES NOT come quick at all)....

AG: Ummm this is...(name of friend)

AcQ: Hi (name of friend)

AcQ continues smiling, waiting to be introduced

AG: Well...nice seeing you! See you around okay? Bye!!! (runs off quickly, dragging friend with her)

This is why I can understand it when people forget MY name. I can empathize with the moment, so don't you guys worry.

Forgetfulness is not really an admirable quality. It's something that God is still working on with me. Still, there are times when I can be grateful for my forgetfulness. When I tell you that I've forgotten a hurt, I can assure you that I've really forgotten it. We can sincerely be friends again. Or I can sincerely forget that we've been buddies in the past...the emotions have also been forgotten. Being forgetful helps me forgive; it helps me move on and celebrate what is ahead.

I can be thankful to an important Person for this forgetfulness that helps me let go of regrets and petty emotions. Many times though, I forget Him. I denied Him many times. I thought it insulted my intelligence to believe in Him. The Literature major that I am believed Him for a myth, etched in man's archetypal memory.

He continued to chase after me though. Until now, He draws me to Himself until everything but Him can just fade away into my forgetfulness.

This Man on the cross did not just forgive me. He took all my wrongdoings upon Himself. People might ask how I know that He is real. I know because I've walked with Him. I know because I've come to believe in His word. I know because I've experienced His faithfulness. I know because I can see the changed lives of those who believe. I know because I've tasted and felt how it is to be loved deeply by Him. He is the only One who will assuredly never forget forgetful me.

"So heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss

and my heart turns violently inside of my chest

I don't have time to maintain these regrets

when I think about the way

that He loves us..."

~ How He Loves Us, David Crowder Band

Can a woman forget her nursing child? Will she have no compassion on the child from her womb? Although mothers may forget, I will not forget you.~ Isaiah 49:15 (God's Word Translation)

Pleasing the Master

My two dogs and I were out playing catch in the garden one morning. I threw their tan ball (which actually looks like a football), and the two doggies ran wildly after it. ChiChi the shih tzu got to it first though. Poor Shobe the half-breed didn't know what to do while I patted and hugged Chichi. A few seconds later, Shobe also ran to my side. She too had something in her mouth -- it was a small brown mabolo fruit (velvet apple)! The little runt didn't want to disappoint me, so she had taken one of the fruits which had fallen from the Kamagong tree. Laughing at Shobe's cleverness, I hugged the little puppy while she wagged her tail in pleasure.

football vs. mabolo

Dogs are a delight to train and play with because they aim to please their master. This is why puppies would sometimes eat their own poop. They don't want their owners to know that they had an accident somewhere restricted.

After that incident, I couldn't help but think of how I had pleased my own Master that day. If I could be amused by a dog's cleverness, what more of God who desires nothing more than my undivided love?  But I often don't think about pleasing God in my everyday activities.

It was hard to obey and please God when I didn't even know who He was. I prayed hard to get to know Him intimately, not just intellectually. Last month, God answered my prayer. My eyes were opened and I was able to finally feel the fullness of His love for me.  When you know God, you would inevitably want to please God.  Sometimes, I still fail and flounder. But now I know I have a great God who loves me so much. I am still getting to know Him everyday. And everyday, I pray that I would be able to please Him in many ways.

It's impossible to please God apart from faith. And why? Because anyone who wants to approach God must believe both that he exists and that he cares enough to respond to those who seek him. ~ Hebrews 11:6