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In our culture and society, singleness seems to be acceptable only until your early twenties. I have had someone ask me, "What's wrong with you?" when he learned that I was still single. When you're single and people think it's high-time for you to get married, you can expect:
- people telling you to lower your standards
- matchmaking schemes
- people telling you you're way past calendar age
- being pressured, because you might not have a child anymore
- being called an old maid
- feeling ugly or embarrassed
- feeling that every guy that comes along and pays you attention is a "prospect"
Some people who tell you these things or seem to make you feel bad have good intentions of course. The married and in-a-relationship ones want you to feel the same happiness they are experiencing. Parents and family members want to ensure that the good genes get passed on. In short, people just want everyone, including you, to be happy.
It makes you wonder though, is singleness inferior to the married life? Because of worldly standards, single godly men and women have the tendency to compromise their godly standards. We settle for men or women who are ungodly just so we wouldn't be lonely or feel bad because everyone around us is married or going there. Or we date around, giving pieces of our hearts to each and every guy that comes along.
It is a challenge for singles to remain pure physically, emotionally and spiritually. But with God's grace it is possible. The only standards worth thinking about are the standards of God.
"Single" is not an inferior status compared to "married"
Singleness, if anything, is a gift. Some people are called to marriage, some people are called to singleness. The Bible does not have a "dating" status. If you're not married, you're single. One day, you might get married. But until then, you're single. The apostle Paul said that it is good for widows and the unmarried to stay single.
Does this contradict the Adam and Eve story? After all, God gave Adam a helpmate, Eve, because he saw that it wasn't good for man to be alone. No. Both singleness and marriage is a gift. Paul did not have to worry about the stresses of marriage. He could devote his time to ministry and to God. But some people function better with a tag team partner. They can also glorify God through their relationship and their family.
Don't let singleness become the devil's foothold
The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He tells you that you're ugly, that you're worthless, that you're lonely. He robs you of your joy in Christ. It's also tempting to remain in or get into an ungodly relationship, or to question God when you've been single for a long time. But having a boyfriend is not the standard for you to live a full life. Jesus Christ is the only requirement for a full life. Are you ready to compromise Jesus Christ for a boyfriend or a husband?
John 10:10
Our relationships on earth are temporary. We value them and treasure them, because with them, we glorify God. In the end though, our relationship with God is only one that will last.
It's all about God
Faith comes when we remove the focus on ourselves and focus on the God who watches over us. Whatever status we are in -- single or married -- the point is to glorify Him. Remember God's faithfulness. It's easy to choose a tangible person over God when God is not a personal God. But when we remember the cross and what He did to win us over, everything else fades away. Are you single? You are not alone.
- people telling you to lower your standards
- matchmaking schemes
- people telling you you're way past calendar age
- being pressured, because you might not have a child anymore
- being called an old maid
- feeling ugly or embarrassed
- feeling that every guy that comes along and pays you attention is a "prospect"
Some people who tell you these things or seem to make you feel bad have good intentions of course. The married and in-a-relationship ones want you to feel the same happiness they are experiencing. Parents and family members want to ensure that the good genes get passed on. In short, people just want everyone, including you, to be happy.
It makes you wonder though, is singleness inferior to the married life? Because of worldly standards, single godly men and women have the tendency to compromise their godly standards. We settle for men or women who are ungodly just so we wouldn't be lonely or feel bad because everyone around us is married or going there. Or we date around, giving pieces of our hearts to each and every guy that comes along.
It is a challenge for singles to remain pure physically, emotionally and spiritually. But with God's grace it is possible. The only standards worth thinking about are the standards of God.
"Single" is not an inferior status compared to "married"
Singleness, if anything, is a gift. Some people are called to marriage, some people are called to singleness. The Bible does not have a "dating" status. If you're not married, you're single. One day, you might get married. But until then, you're single. The apostle Paul said that it is good for widows and the unmarried to stay single.
I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
Does this contradict the Adam and Eve story? After all, God gave Adam a helpmate, Eve, because he saw that it wasn't good for man to be alone. No. Both singleness and marriage is a gift. Paul did not have to worry about the stresses of marriage. He could devote his time to ministry and to God. But some people function better with a tag team partner. They can also glorify God through their relationship and their family.
Don't let singleness become the devil's foothold
The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He tells you that you're ugly, that you're worthless, that you're lonely. He robs you of your joy in Christ. It's also tempting to remain in or get into an ungodly relationship, or to question God when you've been single for a long time. But having a boyfriend is not the standard for you to live a full life. Jesus Christ is the only requirement for a full life. Are you ready to compromise Jesus Christ for a boyfriend or a husband?
2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?John 10:10
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
The only eternal relationship is our relationship with God Our relationships on earth are temporary. We value them and treasure them, because with them, we glorify God. In the end though, our relationship with God is only one that will last.
Mark 12:25
For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.Matthew 22:29-30
But Jesus answered them, “You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.It's all about God
Faith comes when we remove the focus on ourselves and focus on the God who watches over us. Whatever status we are in -- single or married -- the point is to glorify Him. Remember God's faithfulness. It's easy to choose a tangible person over God when God is not a personal God. But when we remember the cross and what He did to win us over, everything else fades away. Are you single? You are not alone.
