Dealing with change

I can't adjust easily to changes. I guess it's because I form attachments slowly yet deeply. These past  days, I've been feeling as if the people I love most dearly have been changing so much. It scared me to feel that I'm being left behind. But a discussion with my sister one afternoon reminded me that it's normal for people to change. We can't be swept away by our constantly changing feelings.

If you feel the same way I do, I encourage you to celebrate the positive changes in your loved ones' lives and to mourn with them when situations make a turn for the worst. Even if people change, stay true. Rather than create walls to protect yourself from the pain of change, love deeply. Don't take people for granted, because you never know when they'll have to say goodbye.

Most of all, remember to fix your eyes on Jesus. Through Him, you can hold on to the hope that the big and important words -- commitment, loyalty, faithfulness, love -- remain big and important. He remains faithful even if you are faithless. He loves you in your confusion, pain, sadness, fear, and distress until you can be still and attain a peace that transcends all understanding.  Even in change, you can rely on a steady anchor and a steadfast love.

Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God  who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations, ~ Deuteronomy 7:9

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;  his mercies never come to an end; they are new  every morning; great is your faithfulness. - Lamentations 3:22-23

if we are faithless, he remains faithful—for he cannot deny himself. ~ 2 Timothy 2:13

The Room by Joshua Harris

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index-card files.

They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read “Girls I Have Liked.” I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.

And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.

 A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named “Friends” was next to one marked “Friends I Have Betrayed.”

 The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. “Books I Have Read,” “Lies I Have Told,” “Comfort I Have Given,” “Jokes I Have Laughed At.” Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: “Things I’ve Yelled at My Brothers.” Others I couldn’t laugh at: “Things I Have Done in My Anger,” “Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents.” I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped.

I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 20 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature. When I pulled out the file marked “Songs I Have Listened To,” I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked “Lustful Thoughts,” I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.

Suddenly I felt an almost animal rage. One thought dominated my mind: “No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!” In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn’t matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore “People I Have Shared the Gospel With.” The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

 And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.

But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus.

I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn’t bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?

Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn’t anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn’t say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.

“No!” I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was “No, no,” as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.

He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, “It is finished.”

I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

  By Joshua Harris

Level up!

In an RPG (role-playing game), you'd have to undergo quests and battle monsters in order to level up. I love a good RPG, because there's the thrill of story, strategy,  and transformation. As you go through level after level, the "big boss" you have to battle becomes a bit meaner or a bit wiser.  In any case, there's that sense of accomplishment when you see a monster disappear and you see your strength, stamina, and other skills fill up.  Sometimes, you're even given a new ability or a new weapon.

I've often seen my life as one big RPG.  When I reflect on the past victories and the challenges I've encountered, there's that fulfillment knowing that I've somewhat "leveled-up" and gained something from the quests and battles.  The past days though, I felt that my life has been stagnant, as if someone had pressed the pause button on the game console. I fell into self-pity, blaming even the people I love the most for what was happening in my life. It was hard for me to write about this, because I see myself as a strong Christian woman and here I was falling apart and being emotional.  Where was my joy in Christ?

I shared this with my bestfriend Tiffany and after listening to me, she prayed for me. I can't forget what she said, which went roughly like this: "Lord, I pray for this beautiful woman who doesn't realize her worth in you."

I immediately started crying when I heard her words, because they were true. I had forgotten my worth in Christ, that He himself purchased me with His precious blood, that I was part of a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation. What was the daughter of a King doing?  Self-pitying and neglecting her inheritance!  Here was someone I had shared the gospel to, reminding me about what I had shared to her just months ago.

It was a humbling experience.  I remember reading that it is not the length of our walk with Christ that matters, but the depth of our walk with Him. And for the past days, I had fallen out of step with God. The experience was a wake-up call.  I had to make a decision once and for all. Was I going to allow myself to stagnate or was I going to level up?  I had been in this exact same situation before, crying because I felt that God was not giving me what I wanted.  Now, I am put in the same spot as if I hadn't learned my lesson.  Actually, I was being put in the same spot to make me realize that I still hadn't learned my lesson.

In an RPG, you die and you resurrect in the same spot...or you go back to the start.  You DON'T level up if you don't face the monster and defeat it. I had forgotten an important fact. The monsters in my life had been defeated even before, when Jesus died for me on the cross. What was required for me right now was to show up for battle and to obey, in full faith that  I will be victorious.  I wasn't a baby Christian anymore.  I couldn't run to my disciplers all the time, asking for prayers and crying whenever I faced challenges of any kind.  I know they would pray for me and help me, but I myself also had to learn how to stand on God's promises.

I have loved you with an everlasting love.

My lover is mine and I am His.

I will never leave you nor forsake you.

I will be with you.

I am with you always, to the end of the age.

It is finished.

If I feel defeated, it is not God's fault. He had already given me victory. I just chose to feel defeat.  I didn't want to level up and step out in faith.  I told Jesus that there was nothing more in this world that I wanted but be His disciple.  He answered me, come and follow me. But I was just like the rich young man who couldn't leave his worldly riches behind. Sure Jesus, I'll follow you, but can I bring this bag with me, just in case?  Well Gaby, this journey doesn't require anything but you and me. Are you still willing to follow?

I wanted to stay where I was, because I was scared of losing whatever I had. I forgot that what God has in store for me was greater than what I could ever imagine. I didn't want to believe because I didn't SEE the promise. Instead of trusting in the character of God -- that He is faithful and good -- I chose to put things under my control.

Early this year, I had prayed for many things. Two of these were,
1) a deeper relationship with God
2) Godly character -- more self-control, patience, and gentleness

When you ask God for things like this, be ready. He will test you through the fire, and He will give you exactly what you need. When I told my sister about my struggle, she told me,  and saya nga nyan eh! (that's something to be happy about!). She even sounded envious!  I thought she was crazy.  I wanted to shout, God take this cup away from me!  Until she explained that this was going to build my character.  I was surprised to hear this from her. Just like Tiffany, my sister is a younger Christian than I am.  Again, I was reminded about why the Christians around me were living victorious lives. It wasn't about who has been Christian the longest. It was because these people chose to level up. They chose to be joyful in the midst of trial, because they knew that their suffering would produce a greater faith, a better character, a deeper walk with God. They chose to level up, because they were compelled by the love of Christ on the cross. They were confident that He was going to be with them every step of the way. Our pastors always say that God doesn't guarantee His children a storm-free life. He even promises us that we will face trials and persecutions! But what he does guarantee is a storm-proof life where He will be with us.  As a book I am reading says:  Often, you'd have to choose between comfort or Christlikeness. Which one do you want?

I want to be Christlike. I don't want to stay where I am, but first I have to obey. I have to be faithful in the little things, so I can be entrusted with the bigger things.  Last year, God told me to meet him in the mountaintop just like Moses in Exodus. I thought I had reached the peak and had become content. I realize now that to think this way shows a lack of understanding about God's character. There is still so much more to know about God. You won't run out! Each day is supposed to bring a fresh revelation, a new word from Him. If I wasn't hearing from God everyday, then I have to ask myself if I'm spending enough time with Him so I could hear from Him.  Well, it seems like for the past days, all I had been hearing was myself.

I am weak.  But the bible says, When I am weak, I am strong.  It is in my weakness that God's strength will be revealed.  He will do amazing things in my life, and He will be glorified.  I have to leave behind my past victories and defeats and make room for the new things that God will be bringing into my life. I can see growing pains in my future, and I have to admit that when I focus on the "pains" part, I am shaky inside (please pray for me!).  But if it means that the prize is being closer to Jesus, then this is something I choose to go through. I pray to God that He will keep me brave, determined, and joyful all throughout.
     
 Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” Mark 9:24

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.  Deuteronomy 31:8

The Gift-Giver

The first flower I ever received was a lone carnation. I went home one day after class and it was hanging on my doorknob.

I was confused. I thought it was a joke until the days passed and the identity of my gift-giver was revealed.

A single flower doesn't seem like much. As I see it now, I know the effort that placed that flower there was worth much more than its price.  It was the element of surprise and thought that made it special. He hoped I would be curious.  He hoped he would make me smile. He hoped that my answer in the end would be a yes. When I think of  the gifts I received from this person, that lone flower stands out because that first step took the most guts. 

This encounter, similar situations, and our current church series on love made me realize a few things about relationships.  I am no expert on love...far from it! But if you find some wisdom in what is written here, I pray that it will be a wisdom that comes from God.

  

Women are designed to be pursued and men are designed to pursue.  I loved being pursued. It made me feel even more beautiful. And I know he loved pursuing me. It made him want to best himself day after day.  If I had pursued him, I know I would have felt insecure about the relationship. Pursuit is a public act of courage for men.  It doesn't hide in the conveniences of "mutual understanding" or "friends with benefits". Call me a sexist, but I don't believe in men and women who say that it doesn't matter if it's the man or the woman who pursues.  I believe that men were designed for the adventure of pursuit. Unfortunately, some of them are content with the thrill of video games and action movies to fulfill this craving for adventure.  I also believe that women want to be pursued. Unfortunately, some of us lower our standards because we simply can't wait or we're pressured by society. 

The intention of pursuit must be clear.  If you're not being pursued with marriage in mind, then ask yourself, what is the pursuit for?  Are you willing to share your deepest desires, your grandest vision, and your divine calling with a person who doesn't think of you as forever?  Where would you be when you realize that after sharing yourself with this person, that person thinks of you as disposable?   

Friendship is the foundation.  Pursuit can consume us and make us blind to the faults of a person. But if you build on your friendship first, you'll enter pursuit with more wisdom.  You'll know that you're not pursuing and being pursued just because of physical attributes or common interests. You'll see how each other is with friends and family.  You can reflect if you can stomach waking up with this person day after day. You'll know if you can work together.  You'll know if you can decide to love and forgive even when faults have been revealed.

The pursuit is committed and exclusive. A man who is serious about you will pursue you and only you. He won't be pursuing other women while pursuing you. This is why friendship is all the more important. Friendship gives you time to develop this kind of  love that leads to marriage. This love has romantic attractions and desires; but it is also self-sacrificing, committed, responsible, and exclusive.

Jesus comes first. The bible says, a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. It's you, him/her, and God. The thread that binds you together should be Jesus.  It's not enough that he/she believes in God. Even the devil knows the Lord. The question is, does this person actually have a relationship with the Jesus of the Bible? As Christians, our eyes should be fixed on Jesus. If your eyes are fixed on Jesus, and his/her eyes are fixed on something else, then how can it work out?  If someone is not for Jesus, then who is he/she for? Someone has to give to make the relationship work. Before you know it, you'll be compromising for the sake of "love".   Can you really be with someone who can't pray with you? What standards will you use to raise your children?

  

Men can have courage in the knowledge that they are the sons of the One who pursues us with abandon. They also have the courage to pursue. And we women, we can rest in the knowledge that we are loved no matter what.

As a woman, I had a tendency to feel ugly and unloved when I wasn't being pursued.  But this was until I realized that I am being pursued by the best Lover of all. Unlike other men, He is perfect. Unlike other men, He can complete me.  He told me, you were separated from me because of sin, but if you believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that I am Lord, then you will be saved. 

I can only decide to say yes, because Jesus pursued me first with utter abandon. He pursued me even while I was a sinner.  He wasn't turned off by my faults. Instead, He chose to forgive and tell me that I am being sanctified in His love. To prove His love for me and His hatred for everything that separates me from Him, He withstood shame and torture.  My first love gave me flowers to win me over. The One Who First Loved Me gave me the cross. 

What man can give you the same gift?  Only a man that is filled by the same Love. If he/she understands this like you do, you can be strengthened. You can be filled and refilled. You can be forgiving and patient and kind and humble.  Choose the One who pursues you everyday.  Choose the Ultimate Gift-Giver. Choose the Perfect Love.

Who's afraid of the big bad tiger?

disclaimer: no bad intentions or impressions meant on tigers...

At KIDS church last Sunday, one of the teachers asked five-year old Abby if she was afraid of tigers.

Teacher: Are you afraid of tigers?

Abby (intent on her drawing): No.

Teacher (surprised): You're not afraid of tigers?

Abby: Uhm...maybe only a little. 

(shows teacher how teeny-small little is by making a tiny space between her forefinger and thumb..then gives a big smile before triumphantly declaring...)

Because Jesus is with me!

Abby may be unsure of the intentions of the tigers that could come into her life, but she is certain of  her God.  Is my faith like that of Abby's?

a story I want you to read

One day a woman who didn't believe in Jesus Christ walked into church.  The band was playing, the people were dancing and singing, there was great rejoicing.  The woman couldn't understand it. Why did these people actually look happy? She found church boring.  She found Jesus to be beyond understanding, a possibly mythical man who wasn't even interesting in the first place.

I was that woman.  Like many, I was an unbeliever.   I sought security in philosophies and theories...anything from Atheism, Agnosticism, Taoism, Buddhism, Sufism, and New Age spirituality.  But one day, I met someone (her name is Ching and she blogs from everyday sunday) who forced me to look seriously into the claims of Christianity.  Here was a Christian who was so unlike the other self-proclaimed Christians I meet.  I found in her joy even in the midst of our daily stresses in the office. I saw in her a compassion that went beyond my understanding of what was supposed to be "fair". I didn't agree with her worldview. In fact, I constantly challenged it. But I couldn't deny reality...where did she get  the hope that I was desperately seeking in my theories and philosophies?  What was the source of this hope that I wanted?

When this woman pointed me to Jesus Christ, I had to investigate.  As I got to know Jesus better through the Bible and by attending a Bible-based church, I saw in Him the picture of a powerful, loving, and just God. Jesus gave me hope that my fallen world -- me included -- could be truly transformed. At the same time, I found in the Bible (which the Literature major in me once considered as myth) a logical, coherent human history. I found it incredible that the Bible could be so logical and coherent when the books were written by different people living in different time periods.  I also found in the Bible the most precise understanding of the human condition and our human tendencies. Who else could understand us in such a precise way but the One who created us?

It wasn't an easy journey. I had many questions, and I still do.  But every time I feel lost or run away, God seeks me and exceeds expectations. He proves, as He has proven over and over again in the Bible, that even in our doubts, He remains unchanging, faithful, and trustworthy.

There are still so many things in me that needs changing. Our spiritual crosses are not easy to bear alone. Thankfully, I know many people who are so genuinely sold out on their faith.  Someone who declares himself a God must be mad or made-up.  But if He was either, why did the Christians who led me to Him seem so real?    What was it about Him that made them so joyful? What was it about Jesus that transformed the hopeless into the hopeful? What was it about these Christians that drew me even when I didn't believe?

This cross was very heavy and hurt my shoulder  To think that this was only 1/3 the actual weight of the historical cross that Jesus bore!  I am grateful that I had someone to help me though I only carried this a few steps.  

I am grateful, because when I talk to these people, I don't merely see them as friends.  I see the Jesus of the bible -- compassionate, non-compromising, loving. Admittedly, they are not perfect, but I know that God is helping them in their own personal journeys.

Jethro - an encourager and mentor

Like my fellow believers, I am not perfect. But I hold on the promise of the bible that I am being perfected into Christ-likeness by the transforming power of Jesus Christ.

So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord--who is the Spirit--makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image. - 2 Cor 3:18

There are times when people fail me.  There are times when my own intellect, emotions, and even people  I love and admire fail me. The message of the cross is simple -- we fail, but God still loves us. He gave the perfect sacrifice, so ALL our sins (past, present, and future) can be forgiven and we can be reconciled to Him.

Because He is holy and just, God had to punish us for our sins.  But because He is also merciful and loving, He found a way out of our punishment.  He sent His only Son to take our sins, become sin, and take our punishment for Himself.

 Because of Jesus' death on the cross, we don't have to reap the consequence of sin which is death.  The sacrifice is done.  The prophecies have been fulfilled. Jesus, victorious over sin and death, was raised from the dead and reigns forever! IT IS FINISHED.

We don't have to scourge ourselves anymore and feel insecure about our future! The gift of eternal life is offered to all those who believe.We only have to accept the gift for our own sins to be nailed on the cross. This gift is what we call grace -- it is undeserved and unmerited...but it is freely given.

If you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  For it is with your heart that you believe, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved ~ Romans 10:9-10

The message of the cross is either a grand story that man created to explain away the things he couldn't understand.

Or....it could be real.

It could bring repentance.  

It could bring reconciliation. 

 It could bring healing. 

It could bring hope.

It could bring love.

Because of how God transformed my life, denying Him would be the most untruthful thing I could do.  I can't imagine myself going back to being an atheist or agnostic when I've encountered God in such a transformative way. God is not memorized prayers or the rituals we are asked to perform. Nor is He the rules that seem to enslave.  God is our Creator, Provider, Strength, Deliverer, Friend and all the wonderful things we can attribute to God.  By believing in Jesus, I can have a direct relationship with Him.

When I reflect about all that God has done for me, I am given strength and hope for the future. When I let go of my selfish desires and focus on pleasing Him, I find myself complete and at my most joyful. I have more that I can give to others. My blessings and even my pains are given a sense of purpose -- they are all for the glory of God. Life is given meaning. Life is not wasted. Life is a delight when I live it for God.

My God is alive! He is a great friend.   He is faithful even when I am not.  He always comes through.  And I know, I am not alone.

---------

If you do believe that Jesus died for your sins and was resurrected from the dead, the Bible promises that the old has gone and the new has come.

 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Cor 5:17.

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Photos are from Walkway, an art installation/exhibit in Bonifacio High Street by a creative group of Christians called Church Simplified.  The Walkway event runs every Holy Week at Bonifacio High Street Bonifacio Global City, Taguig

All photos were taken by Gail Bitoon of Foreveryday Photography 

station 8

Please pray for this kid

Solo flight: Where have all the men gone?

 Do you feel like you've been flying solo for a long time now?


I'm sure that most women have wondered where all the men have gone.  Sure, there are lots of boys out there, but their planning capacity only reaches to what they'll have for their next meal. Or they're just so scared of commitment, they just remain Peter Pans for life. So we women sadly conclude, the REAL men are all in a relationship, married or dead.

In one of my small groups, this has been a recurring topic.  We lament what we see as the lack of men, Godly men that is.  I used to think that the problem was limited to our growing campus church.  Since it's based in the province, students (men included) would usually go back to their hometowns after graduating.  The men are somewhere else, we think. But then we still don't find them wherever we are.  Are they really a soon-to-be-extinct breed?

Apparently, our "problem" is not an isolated case.  After reading Pastor Jaeson Ma's blog entry entitled The Five Pillars of Manhood and seeing the numerous agreeing comments, its obvious that our small group is not the only one ruminating on the lack of real men.  Pastor Jaeson, in his long entry, narrates how women in his church have asked the same questions then proceeds to give off a description of qualities that a real man possesses.

I have had my share of bad experiences when it comes to relationships.  Unlike some of my Christian friends, I didn't wait for a Godly man to come into my life.  My standards have always been different:

• he should be artistic
• he should be passionate
• he should have convictions
• he should make me laugh

Later on, I added: He should love his family.

There's nothing wrong with my list right?  They're all good qualities.  So why do I always end up frustrated in the end?  Yes, these are all good qualities, but I forgot the most important one, which is HE SHOULD LOVE GOD ABOVE ALL. And when I say all, that includes ME.


When a man has Godly standards,

• he will commit when he is absolutely ready to commit, and you won't have to wonder "Will you still love me tomorrow?" He loves God and knows that he's committed to take care of and love his partner
• his YES will mean YES and his NO will mean NO
• he doesn't blame you for his mistakes
• he doesn't "taste the different flavors of women" just to satisfy his curiosity or his bloated ego. He doesn't need to, because he is secure in his identity in Christ
•  he is not an emotional basketcase, because he knows he has a strong God beside him. 
• he doesn't waste his money on getting drunk, smoking, or doing drugs, because his body is a temple of God.
•  every word that comes from his mouth is a wellspring of life, because the commands of God are in his heart. 
• he dares to be different from the "boys" who make crass jokes or succumb to other peer pressure to be accepted.  He knows the only one worth pleasing is God
• he is hardworking because he does his work for God, and not for men.
• he is confident, because he does what he is called out by God to do.
• he will pursue you and marry you, because he knows that to do less than that is undervaluing your worth.
• he takes "'til death do us part" seriously.

Before you make a face and tell me that's impossible, hear me out.  I've met some Godly men. You want to know the secret?  Yes, all these things are next to impossible to do.  But it is God's grace that allows them to do all these things, not their own imperfect strength.  If you still don't think this is possible, I'll hook you up with my beautiful friend Ching who is in love with God and a Godly man.


I am not looking at Christian relationships through rose-colored glasses though. Just because two Christians marry doesn't mean that they'll live happily ever after,or that a man will never fail.  After all, a Godly man is still just a man, not a God.  IF God is in the center, I have faith that a relationship will work out REGARDLESS of circumstances.  It's easy to be happy when circumstances are just cruisin', but when everything seems to be falling apart, that's when the real test comes in. If a woman has compassion and is strong herself, she knows that there will be times when her man will stumble, and  she will have the capacity to forgive and help him get back to his feet again.


Christian or not, deep down inside, I think that many women want Godly men.  They just don't know that it is God who brings out the best in a man.  So why do some women often fall for the wrong person or don't meet the right person? Is it really because there are no Godly men out there? I want to believe that God is doing His work and ministering to a lot of men. They probably need a lot of work on their end (haha) BUT, I also think that we women need to pray about a lot of stuff on our end too:

• Let's set our standards higher.  "Kilig" or having that warm tingly feeling all over is NOT a strong enough foundation for a relationship.  We're worth more than a few text messages.
• Don't compromise Godly standards to accommodate temporary desires
• Accept when it's just NOT time for a relationship.  Believe me, it's better to wait than to be a sorry self-pitying lump when your heart gets broken.  
• Trust that God knows best.
• Let's not get too focused on looking for Mr. Right, when we ourselves aren't Ms. Right

Before we can meet a Godly man, we ourselves should be Godly women. Honestly, I am in that stage in my life now where I am just so happy that I am not married.  Not because I have a bitter view about marriage.  But because, I've realized just recently, how immature and how impatient and how lazy and how...well you get the point.  The biggest thing is that I have neglected my relationship with God for so long. I am just so joyful that for now, it is only God and me.  One day, if God is willing, maybe it will be Me+God+Mr. Right. I couldn't have realized this on my own. There are times when I get too emotional to the point of not thinking clearly.  I have my Christian friends and God to thank for the strength I have now.

I don't want to put my future in a theoretical man.  Yes, I can wait for a Godly man, but in the meantime, I don't stress about it.  My happiness doesn't depend on getting married or having a boyfriend.  Right now, I'd like to think that I'm celebrating my singleness and womanhood. It's nice to finally have the time to distribute my love to my family, friends, and pets.  Most importantly, I can focus on God.  To those who have known me for a long time, I may not be a credible speaker for this topic...and I truly don't intend to supplant whatever your pastor says. I am speaking about what God has helped me realize in my own life. I have been successively atheist, agnostic and just a free-for-all relativist for so long.  I used to sneer at Christianity and found Christians appalling, to say the least.  But let me tell you, God chased after me.  Each moment that I really and truly surrender my life to Jesus Christ, I just feel an exceeding joy.  Life is not perfect, by worldly standards, but I am secure because my happiness is not dependent on other people or on money and on things that don't last.   And because I so love my women friends and family, I just have to share this; and I also have to emphasize this, so that you can remind me the moment I falter:  Before seeking Mr. Right, seek God first. 

When you do get married to a Godly man, please inform me. I will rejoice with you, and we will celebrate.  For now though, there are so many other things we can be happy about.  With God, you won't be a mediocre missing half of a whole; you'll be most surely and awesomely complete. 

RECOMMENDED!

Listen Download Victory Podcast on Godly Relationships by Pastor Dennis Sy 



Enjoying my seasons in life... pic spam below!!! :)

music monday on a thursday: Beautiful Things by Gungor

“If leading worship is just about bringing a group of people into a room so we can get goosebumps and sing songs together, there’s not much value in that. But if leading worship is a means to an end, that we leave this place as a different kind of people, as part of a new humanity that God wants to create – the people that are caring for the widows and orphans, that aren’t bound by the systems of this world but becoming free, becoming fully engaged in our world – then that matters.” ~ Gungor



My new favorite song.  Let the lyrics speak for itself.

Beautiful Things

All this pain

i wonder if i’ll ever find my way

i’ll wonder if my life could really change at all

all this earth

could all that  is lost ever be found

could a garden come up from this ground at all

you make beautiful things

you make beautiful things

out of the dust

you make beautiful things

you make beautiful things

out of us

all around

hope is springing up from this old ground

out of chaos life is being found in you

you make beautiful things

you make beautiful things

out of the dust

you make beautiful things

you make beautiful things

out of us

While searching for the lyrics, I stumbled upon this Wordpress blog: Visual Devotions. The artist creates web art inspired by song lyrics. Check this out; I love it.

  

When people we love hurt us

When people we love hurt us, the usual desire is to change their feelings. We think that if just strive harder, love stronger, be more positive, be more attractive, then they'll come around and stop hurting us.  Well, let me tell you something.  Love is not something that we earn by being more beautiful, being more loving, being more compatible, being more faithful, being more and more and more for the other person.  These actions are a natural outpouring of our love, but we can't force someone to return these feelings just because we felt or did these things for them.  Love is given freely to those we love.  When we love just because we're getting something out of it, then that's not love.  That's emotionally abusing the other party.

when people we love hurt us </3

The next reaction would usually be the desire to get back at the person who hurt us. We want to act all screamy bitchy and maybe, please, could you gouge his eyes out and cut open his stomach and remove all his entrails just to get some revenge?

I wanted to do that.  I wanted to shout and curse and make the other party feel the extent of my pain.  But I couldn't.  I would have done it before, but I couldn't do it now.  The command is clear: In your anger DO NOT sin.  I could tell the other person how I felt, but I COULDN'T SIN.  I couldn't run over him with a ten wheeler truck or ram him with a bulldozer.  The anger in me felt that I could though, and what's more, that I SHOULD. And to tell you frankly, I did hurt many people back with my actions and words.

I struggled with that command.  I felt that God was restricting me.  That it wasn't healthy, that God was unfair and that he didn't care because the other person was just getting away easily with every hurt that he did to me.

does God care?
credit: ilovedoodle@flickr

I couldn't accept that God was asking me to do such an unhealthy thing as repressing my feelings.  Is God really unreasonable? Does God want to restrict me and make me live abnormally?  Why would he create me with feelings in the first place if I can't act on them?

When Christians are hurt, should we just keep quiet?  I grew up thinking that aside from not sinning, I should also never ever question God when I didn't understand Him, as doing so would also be a sin.  The bible discussions I attended the past months revealed to me just how false this teaching was.   I can absolutely relate to David when he poured his heart out to God and asked,

"Will the Lord reject us forever?  Will he never show his favor again? 

 Has his promise failed for all time?" 

The prophet Habakkuk is another example, crying out to God accusingly,

"How long, O Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen?"  

Yes, in our anger we shouldn't sin.  But in our anger, we can talk to God.  We can come to him and question him and struggle with him when the hurt doesn't make sense anymore.  Most of all, in our anger and grief, we can hold on to God and be assured that He is faithful.

God does listen and answer.  God answered me, but it took a while for me to understand, because it wasn't God  who wasn't listening.   I wasn't listening.  I didn't like what God was telling me, because it went against what I wanted. I wanted the other person to love me first and love me above all, but God was telling me to love Him, my God, first and above all.  I didn't hear God, because my eyes were focused on someone else.

In other instances,  God's answer became clear at a much much later time.  I'm sure that some of you had those moments when you said, "Ah, so this why this happened! I'm so happy that it did!"

 I don't understand many things until now, but I'm glad that I don't have a blind and mute wooden replica of a God who doesn't know how I feel.  Instead, I have a God who knows how it feels to be betrayed, denied and rejected by people that He loved.  I have a God who was whipped, crowned with thorns, mocked, jeered at, and nailed to the cross.  I have a God who called out to His Father, "Why have you forsaken me?"

True Love.
credit: flamable77@deviantart

When people I love hurt me, I CAN shout, scream, gnash my teeth, and just pour out everything to my Father.  Unlike other people who'll eventually get tired of my drama (I am such a drama queen when it comes to things of the heart, and you have this post as a reference) or who would just tell me to drink myself to death and party all night or to travel to forget my problems, my God offers complete healing.  What's more, I can be assured that I will eventually be redeemed from any pain, hurt, embarrassment and failure.

Christianity is NOT about hopping bunnies, bright sunshine and colorful flowers.  Christians also get hurt, mad, and angry.  We can spend seasons in the desert or in a battle.  Being a believer does not guarantee a problem-free life, but what it does guarantee is that we will always have a great God to help us go through anything.

PSALM 130. credit: Philip Davis

My new job

The biggest surprise for me this year is that I actually like my new job. I'm presently part of the marketing group of a US-based company. My primary task is writing web content articles for the SEO team, and I'm actually enjoying it.  Here's why:

RPG mode everyday. An online marketing strategy is a lot like a role-playing game. Our goal is to get top rankings in Google search, and to do that, each player has to play his part.  The whole company is made up of marketing people, social media experts, customer support, web designers, etc. etc.  When someone does his job well, the whole company benefits.  What's more,  when we're tasked to do something, it actually goes somewhere. Efforts aren't wasted, and there are a lot of positive vibes going around. Each one plays to win and helps each other out, but there's some healthy competition too.  There's  no office gossip, because everybody's busy doing and enjoying their job.  What's more, the company's goals and plans are clearly communicated.    

go team! ragnarok guild photo from hol guild

Professional bosses.  For me, the biggest reason why the employees are professional is because the bosses are professional. Oh, our supervisors know how to have a good laugh, but they're also intelligent and know how to set the standard.  When it's work time, we work. But they also give us time to take short coffee breaks, rest our eyes, take a leave.  They don't like overtime because they don't pay you for that, which I think shows that they're fair to employees.  It's the first time that I was actually ENCOURAGED to go home and I didn't even want to.haha.And when I'm not doing anything, I actually want to be given a task, which I find really weird.  

Growing company.  Last year, the company received an award for being one of the start-up companies with the most potential to impact the world.  Everybody's excited about the future.

Perks.  I enjoy the little things, because I didn't expect them.  We have reasonable and generous employers, free coffee, free pizzas and lunches from good restaurants for meetings, and happy people to work with.

God.  Before I took this job, I prayed about it.  God asked me to take a look at my priorities and look towards the future and how it would impact other people and my relationship with God, instead of thinking only about what I want (i've been thinking only about what I want  for the past 11 years). After I accepted this job, I got a call for an interview for what I perceived was my "dream job".  I cried about that.  But a good friend and God reminded me about why I'm where I am right now.    I know that I'll get my "dream job" in God's time.

My attitude towards work.  No job is perfect. I know that I'll be experiencing more bumps along the road.  I'll probably get frustrated many times.  But this time, I'll recover with a better attitude.  God placed me here for the moment, and I can be assured that my work is lifted up to Him.   If He wants me somewhere else in the future, I'm praying that despite my hardheadedness, I would also be given the grace to obey.  For now though, chillax lang.

I honestly had hesitations about this career shift.  Since my previous work as a teacher required tons of creativity and 24/7 working hours, I was afraid that I would get bored.  Well, God is a God of surprises.  For the past weeks, He has shown me that He is my provider and that He knows exactly what He's doing.  Don't get me wrong though. Work is only a part of my life, and the rest can still be a struggle. But I have a great God, and He'll be the One to help me get through anything.

We do our work with the purpose of serving an everlasting God. We do this not to get something out of Him; we do this because we love Him. 

  

Is it okay for Christians to read Harry Potter?

I used to have a secret fantasy. I wanted to teach History of Magic in Hogwarts castle and finally give life to the sleep-inducing subject. Blame it on the magic of Harry Potter. Was I sinning by reading Harry potter?

If you would allow me to make a sweeping statement, I would divide the major book crazes of this generation into three:

Harry Potter
Twilight
and the most recent, Hunger Games

Another generalization I would make is that Harry Potter is the most widely-read book by both young adults and adults of this generation. You can call me biased, because I myself have devoured the Harry Potter books. Like a true fanatic (and geek), I debated over the political implications of Harry Potter 5 in the fansite Mugglenet.net, I got sorted into a Hogwarts houses through Harry Potter quizzes made by fans (I'm a Ravenclaw by the way), my favorite subject is Charms and Herbology, I find Divination stupid, and I reread the HP books before stepping into an HP movie.

Some fundamentalists and even evangelicals would probably condemn my fanaticism, saying that the HP books delve into the occult, encourage kids into witchcraft and homosexuality (yeah, Dumbledore is gay according to Rowling) and are the products of the devil. After all, the Bible itself condemns homosexuality, and specifically warns against witchcraft.

Some Christian defenders of the Harry Potter books have gone so far as to compare HP to J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings and C.S. Lewis' Narnia books which are Christian allegories and have Christian themes. They also cite the messages of love, courage, and friendship found in the HP books as proof of its "Christian message."

I myself would not go into either extremes. I have not gone into a full-length literary analysis of Harry Potter. But I do know that different literary theories could lead us to either conclusion -- HP as satanic, or HP as Christian. Before, I used to look at HP as communist since I was partial to that ideology before I got saved.

My point is that, from a Reader's Response point of view, we can look at books through different lenses. The Lord of the Rings books and Narnia books were written with our knowledge of the author's intention and Christian backgrounds in mind. These have contributed to the literary analyses that the books are Christian allegories. We can even go the way of condemning all fantasy books as demonic just by the characters' use of "magic". Heck, I have read analyses of other Christians condemning the New International Version of the bible as tools of satan!

Can fantasy and faith mix? (photo credit to: fantasybooksandmovies.com)

If we condemn fantasy books as such, then let's throw all other books into the burning pile. Oscar Wilde's classic The Picture of Dorian Gray shows us a hedonistic world. Shakespeare uses witches in his plays, but we don't hear an uproar over his books. And if you argue that witches and hedonists in these books are seen in a negative light, while HP has witches and sorcerers as heroes, then we can do away with Malory's Le Morte D'Arthur and all other books mentioning the "good" sorcerer Merlin. And what do we do with our Greek mythology, science-fiction, the Qu'ran, and The Tale of Genji? They're not Christian at all. They offer a totally different world and faith view.

Personally, I never read HP as a Christian book. However, it espouses values we can call Christian. I love how Rowling, with her own unique storytelling, weaves a tale of good versus evil. These values and themes are not exclusive to HP. We see them in various myths, legends, and other stories around the world. They don't necessarily make Harry Potter exclusively Christian.

Rowling's Hogwarts is not C.S. Lewis' Narnia which has obvious Christian allegories (note: some Christians will still disagree on the Narnia as a Christian allegory premise). But I wouldn't condemn Harry Potter and his friends to the stake either. Books, and things of culture for that matter, are tainted by man. NOTHING created by man is holy or pure. We may focus on elements of HP which are "demonic" and thus, conclude the book to be demonic, or we may look at HP through a Christian lens as other Christian writers have done. Or we may not look at HP from any religious lens at all.  Given the influence of HP, Christians  are more concerned about looking at the HP books from God's lens.

Are fantasy books dangerous then? I agree that these books can be used by the devil to tempt us, as there are numerous ways by which the devil can make us stumble. Even "good" things such as friends and family can lead to temptation. We live in a fallen world, but we cannot put ourselves in an isolated bubble so that we won't get "corrupted".

Our biggest concern should be the state of our hearts and our relationship with God when we read these books. For example, I read the Da Vinci Code before I became Christian. Because the author of this book CLAIMED that everything he wrote was real, and I never read my Bible, I was drawn into believing that the Gospel of Mary Magdalene and other Gnostic Gospels should occupy the same importance as the other Gospels written in the bible. Compared to Brown's Da Vinci Code, Rowling never gave me the impression that her magical world was real. I read it fully knowing that whatever was written there was fantasy. Also, even the Da Vinci Code was used by God in my life so that I could have a firmer stand right now about my own faith. My faith was not made weaker because I learned about Gnosticism. God gave me the choice to believe Gnosticism, but by His grace, I didn't. Now, I could say "yeah I know about that belief, but I still choose being a Christian."

HP awakens my imagination and is a literary experience, but I am also aware that the fantasy is not real. I'm also not "addicted" to it as I was before. I believe it was God who made me realize that He is the only One worth getting addicted to. When I read HP, I admire Rowling's talent and I celebrate its metaphors and its message of love. When I read the Bible, I know that I have the greatest history book, love story and written creative work in my hand. Reading HP does not negate my experience of the Bible.

If we ban Harry Potter, we might as well ban fairy tales and other stories created by man. In fact, we might even ask ourselves, can a Christian read any other book at all without sinning? We might as well ban TV, Facebook, and interacting in the real world which is filled with pornography, violence, real witchcraft, etc. Let's face it, we're not in heaven yet. We are all in a spiritual battle and just like Caspian in Narnia, we need to arm ourselves against the enemy. If a Christian is drawn into witchcraft, astrology, or the occult because of Harry Potter, then maybe he should stop reading it.  This may be a reflection of his heart or his lack of maturity in faith.  Maybe he's still too young to be exposed to such ideas.  Don't take my word for it though. Ask your parents, ask your Christian friends, ask your pastor, ask God.

When temptations happen, a Christian should pray, seek God's help, and read his bible to be reminded of the Good News. No message in any other book, after all, can compare to the message of the Gospel if you have experienced its reality in your life.



Recommended reading regarding this topic:

Harry Potter vs. the Muggles by Mike Hertenstein

A similar debate once raged over whether Christians could eat food that had been originally offered to pagan idols. They most certainly can, insisted the Apostle Paul, provided they can eat with a clear conscience and be mindful of those "weaker brothers" who cannot. But Paul never suggested that weaker brothers must set the limits for everyone.
- Mike Hertenstein

Gossip girl

I think everyone can relate to gossip.  It's interesting and even exciting to know about the lives of other people.  Either we start the gossip, join in the gossip, or become the victim of gossip.  I admit that I've done all.  Many of us unintentionally take part in gossip.  We are deceived or deceive ourselves that what we are doing is not gossip, but if you look closely, IT IS STILL GOSSIP.  

Gossip is creating stories that are not true.  But it doesn't stop there.  GOSSIP CAN BE TRUE.  When you talk about or even listen to the personal details about someone else's life, you're participating in gossip.  When you do this with malicious intent, it makes it worse.  But even if you don't, if you don't have permission to talk about it, then it is gossip.  Gossip can be disguised as casual conversation, but as long as you talk about personal details, then it is gossip.  

Gossip is closely connected to slander. When you say something which is false or damaging to someone's reputation, you're slandering the person.  

 We justify this wrong by many excuses, or we may do this unintentionally because we think the following:

- it is a way of releasing emotions. Releasing emotions is healthy right?

- we're just asking "advice" from someone else

- it's our personal form of retribution or justice.  He/She gossiped about me, I'll do the same to him/her!

 Gossip is hard to control because many find it fun and interesting.  When things get boring, we gossip.  When things get stressful, we gossip.  When we don't know what else to do, we gossip.  Gossip becomes a bonding session, a punching bag, a way of revenge and even amusement.  Before we know it, gossip has become a habit.

Sometimes, gossip can start with "this and that person is so irritating".  Even if we say things which are good about the person after a gossip/slander session, it doesn't make it any better. Let's take the following illustration as an example.  In fact, this is a usual conversation I took part in before:

A: I want to kill this-and-that person...arrrraggghh!

B: Why, what did she do this time?

A: blah blah blah @(#!!!)$)W* and blah blah blah @)@_### and you know what else??!! blah blah blah blah blah BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAAAAAHHH!!!!! arrrhhhggg!

C: You know, I experienced that too with her!!! I can totally relate!!!blah blah blah blah blah....

(bashing session for one hour while eating....)

B: This is why we should pray for this person.   Let's bless her.

We put more time in cursing that person than blessing her! In fact, I think the blessing just came as an afterthought.  In the end, what was left were only bitter taste of our badmouthing and foul tongues.  It was hypocrisy and we weren't even aware of it, because we were thinking that it was a "bonding" and "de-stressing" session.  We did this every time we got together, as if there was nothing else to talk about.  But at the end of the day,  WE NEVER EVEN SOLVED ANYTHING, and WE FELT EVEN MORE ANGRY THAN WHEN WE STARTED. The person was still irritating, we still hated her guts, and we were all still miserable with her presence.  We didn't know it, but this person had POWER OVER US.  She was controlling our emotions and our thoughts.

from nadeco.org

When we gossip, relationships are damaged, and some even completely fall apart.  It's hard to restore a relationship when trust is broken.  The worse thing, I think, is that gossip can take us away from things which are more important or worthy of our time.  We concern ourselves about the lives of others and judge and assume so many things when there are more worthwhile things to dwell on than "the shocking pink headband this person wore with her orange blouse and how bad her taste is in shoes and did you notice her huge earrings which just overpowers her whole face..which is an improvement actually, she should just keep that face covered all the time...that's why her husband left her even if she got a nosejob which by the way makes her whole face resemble Chucky...and I heard she's going to get bigger boobs next...as if that would make her husband come back, he's with a way younger woman now who does nothing all day but spend his money, that's why they had to rent that mousehole for an apartment....oh oh! Did you hear?!!! There's a rumor that the boss is going to finally reprimand her for her laziness! Serves her right! I have always said that she shouldn't even have been hired in the first place! You know what, I'm not really sure but I think I heard that she said that she's really irritated at you about something..didn't you notice, she wouldn't join you for lunch the other day? yeah, but you should ask her. I don't want to be the cause of gossip, you know"

There ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS than this.  Things like family, friends, faith, personal improvement, poverty, saving the whales, education, the state of the nation, the state of your heart!

Since I was also a victim AND promoter of gossip/slander, I can attest that gossip does more harm than good. There are psychological studies now that say that gossiping is healthy. But I find this self-centered.  Gossip can hurt, and sometimes, even the gossiper himself/herself is hurt by the gossiping he/she does.  I am very sorry for the times I even remotely joined in gossip.  I am just grateful that God enabled me to forgive myself, to reconnect with people I've hurt, and to pray for the people I am still irritated with. 

  

The only way to cure our gossiping and slandering is to renew our minds and our hearts.  What is in our hearts and minds will also inevitably come out of our mouths.  If we fill our minds with negativity or if we are constantly surrounded by negative people, then we will also exude negativity.  Sometimes, we cannot change our external circumstances.  Irritating and unpleasant people will always be there. We cannot control someone else's way of living. People or circumstances may be beyond our control, but there is one thing we have absolute control over -- ourselves.  Because God loves us so much, he didn't restrict us.  He gave us the freedom to choose.   We were given the freedom to choose what to listen to, what to believe in, what to absorb, who to hang out with, who are models will be.  

Admittedly, we also need to air out the stresses in our lives.  But we have to be careful about our motives and who to talk to.  Good friends will help us be stronger to deal with our struggles and will help us make right decisions...they won't fan the flames of gossip even more. 

I think it's good to be aware of the things we say that may intentionally, and sometimes unintentionally, hurt a person. Before we divulge stories, we may ask ourselves the following:

1) what are my motives for saying these things?

2)  is this true or merely assumption?

3) am I just saying these things out of anger, jealousy, irritation, etc.

4)  is this helpful or damaging? 

5) how should I phrase my words?

6) even if it's true, will it be more helpful or damaging if I say them? 

As a Christian, one of the biggest questions of course will be, will this please God?

I had to experience a lot of painful circumstances and some damaged relationships for me to think this way.  There are still times too when I falter.  My faith is one of the things which give me the hope that I may start over and be renewed in this area in my life.  It is not wrong to speak out against a wrong.  But there is a venue and place for everything.  When Jesus rebuked the Pharisees and called them hypocrites, he didn't backstab them, he did it right at their faces.  His motive was to expose a wrong, and He did all these things out of love.  Maybe even to give them a chance to change their ways. This can be attested by the gospel message.   When Jesus died, he died for all sinners, including those who persecuted Him.  He gave us the gift of salvation freely.  We just need to believe in our hearts and confess with our mouths that Jesus is Lord.  

I want to be corrected for my own personal gossiping.  I cannot place myself in an isolated bubble, but I can carefully choose the friends I spend time with and the things I talk about with them.  I can also devote my energies to better pursuits like music, writing, reading, reflecting...and you know what else is fairly interesting and needs a lot of fixing up to do? MY OWN LIFE.

Bible Verse for today

But whatever goes out of the mouth comes from within, and that's what makes a person unclean. ~ Matthew 15:18 (God's Word Translation)

Bible Reflection

Are you guilty of gossip, or have you been hurt because of gossip? Pray for the people you have hurt or who have hurt you because of gossip.