Dealing with change

I can't adjust easily to changes. I guess it's because I form attachments slowly yet deeply. These past  days, I've been feeling as if the people I love most dearly have been changing so much. It scared me to feel that I'm being left behind. But a discussion with my sister one afternoon reminded me that it's normal for people to change. We can't be swept away by our constantly changing feelings.

If you feel the same way I do, I encourage you to celebrate the positive changes in your loved ones' lives and to mourn with them when situations make a turn for the worst. Even if people change, stay true. Rather than create walls to protect yourself from the pain of change, love deeply. Don't take people for granted, because you never know when they'll have to say goodbye.

Most of all, remember to fix your eyes on Jesus. Through Him, you can hold on to the hope that the big and important words -- commitment, loyalty, faithfulness, love -- remain big and important. He remains faithful even if you are faithless. He loves you in your confusion, pain, sadness, fear, and distress until you can be still and attain a peace that transcends all understanding.  Even in change, you can rely on a steady anchor and a steadfast love.

Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God  who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations, ~ Deuteronomy 7:9

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;  his mercies never come to an end; they are new  every morning; great is your faithfulness. - Lamentations 3:22-23

if we are faithless, he remains faithful—for he cannot deny himself. ~ 2 Timothy 2:13

Relationships are formed with trust

"The key to faith is knowing the person you want to trust. Faith only makes sense with a good God. Faith only works when you realize that God is good all the time.  Christianity is not a process of blessing. It is a relationship with Christ.  You cannot have a relationship with someone you do not trust.  You cannot trust someone you do not know."

These words from Bishop Juray Mora struck me last night. Why do we falter in relationships? It is because we do not trust, and we do not trust because we don't know the person enough.

Trusting involves time, choosing to be with a person when you could be with someone else or somewhere else.  When we want to form friendships or relationships with people, we take time with them. We try our hardest to be consistent, so that they would know that we value them and respect their time.

Sadly, we sometimes fail in this department. We take people for granted, we move on from one relationship to the next, we are not sincere in our yes and in our no, we are not transparent with our intentions...and sometimes, when we are the ones who are hurt, we fail to forgive.

I guess this is the essence of why Jesus told us to turn the other cheek. To give those who hurt us the chance to start anew, to emphasize how valuable relationships and people are, to teach us how to love so deeply that we are prepared to lay down our life for another.

Out there, many hearts need healing because trust has been broken. There is one Person who offers this healing. He is Someone you and I can trust. He will never fail.

Before He formed me, He knew me.

Before I was born, He had already set me apart.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
    before you were born I set you apart;..."

He knows every strand of hair on my head and values me more than anything in the world. 

"Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows..."

Even before I knew Him, He chose to love me.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love;..."

Even before I could say sorry for hurting Him, He already forgave me, because He wants me to be with Him forever. 

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us..."

 “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."

I pray that I would know Him more and more this year. I pray that I will spend time with Him. I pray that I will be filled with the assurance that whatever my situation is, my God is a good God.

 ^"I have not stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance." Ephesians 1:16-22

Singleness: When you're single in a married world

In our culture and society, singleness seems to be acceptable only until your early twenties. I have had someone ask me, "What's wrong with you?" when he learned that I was still single. When you're single and people think it's high-time for you to get married, you can expect:

- people telling you to lower your standards
- matchmaking schemes 
- people telling you you're way past calendar age
- being pressured, because you might not have a child anymore
- being called an old maid
- feeling ugly or embarrassed
- feeling that every guy that comes along and pays you attention is a "prospect"

Some people who tell you these things or seem to make you feel bad have good intentions of course.  The married and in-a-relationship ones want you to feel the same happiness they are experiencing.  Parents and family members want to ensure that the good genes get passed on.  In short, people just want everyone, including you, to be happy.

It makes you wonder though, is singleness inferior to the married life? Because of worldly standards, single godly men and women have the tendency to compromise their godly standards.  We settle for men or women who are ungodly just so we wouldn't be lonely or feel bad because everyone around us is married or going there.  Or we date around, giving pieces of our hearts to each and every guy that comes along.  

It is a challenge for singles to remain pure physically, emotionally and spiritually. But with God's grace it is possible.  The only standards worth thinking about are the standards of God. 

"Single" is not an inferior status compared to "married"

Singleness, if anything, is a gift.  Some people are called to marriage, some people are called to singleness. The Bible does not have a "dating" status.   If you're not married, you're single.  One day, you might get married.  But until then, you're single.   The apostle Paul said that it is good for widows and the unmarried to stay single.     

1 Corinthians 7:32-35 

I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

 
Does this contradict the Adam and Eve story?  After all, God gave Adam a helpmate, Eve, because he saw that it wasn't good for man to be alone.  No.  Both singleness and marriage is a gift. Paul did not have to worry about the stresses of marriage. He could devote his time to ministry and to God. But some people function better with a tag team partner.  They can also glorify God through their relationship and their family.


Don't let singleness become the devil's foothold

The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy.  He tells you that you're ugly, that you're worthless, that you're lonely. He robs you of your joy in Christ. It's also tempting to remain in or get into an ungodly relationship, or to question God when you've been single for a long time. But having a boyfriend is not the standard for you to live a full life.  Jesus Christ is the only requirement for a full life.  Are you ready to compromise Jesus Christ for a boyfriend or a husband?

2 Corinthians 6:14 

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

John 10:10

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

The only eternal relationship is our relationship with God 

Our relationships on earth are temporary.  We value them and treasure them, because with them, we glorify God.  In the end though, our relationship with God is only one that will last.

Mark 12:25 

For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.

Matthew 22:29-30 

But Jesus answered them, “You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.

It's all about God

Faith comes when we remove the focus on ourselves and focus on the God who watches over us.  Whatever status we are in -- single or married -- the point is to glorify Him. Remember God's faithfulness.  It's easy to choose a tangible person over God when God is not a personal God. But when we remember the cross and what He did to win us over, everything else fades away.  Are you single?  You are not alone.

And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord. ~ Hosea 2:19-20

why we find it hard to be generous- GREED

Do you find it hard to give?  I know I can be selfish when "the situation calls for it". For example, I sometimes feel that I don't or won't have enough.  I guess this is why I was so blessed with the message on generosity last Sunday service in Victory Malate.    

The "10 percent crew" brought the house down with a special number during the tithes and offering

We're asked to give our 10 percent in tithes. What is this compared to God's 100 percent?

I felt privileged to attend two services and hear the message delivered by Pastors Rev Araneta and Nixon Ng. This was the last installment in the 4-part series entitled "Abraham's School of Finance". 

Pastor Rev 

I won't be able to recreate the humor of Pastor Nixon or the strong conviction of Pastor Rev, but I hope this summary will minister to you. You can listen to the podcasts on Generosity yourself when they're uploaded.  This message was so timely for me, and I'm sure you'll be able to relate to this too.

WE FIND IT HARD TO BE GENEROUS BECAUSE OF GREED

Sometimes, it's hard to give because we want more.  It is not wrong to desire something, but what is wrong is when our desires are not led by God. Sample case is Lot.

Genesis 13:10-13
Lot looked around and saw that the whole plain of the Jordan toward Zoar was well watered, like the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt. (This was before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah.) ¹¹ So Lot chose for himself the whole plain of the Jordan and set out toward the east. The two men parted company: ¹² Abram lived in the land of Canaan, while Lot lived among the cities of the plain and pitched his tents near Sodom. ¹³ Now the people of Sodom were wicked and were sinning greatly against the LORD.

In Genesis 13, Lot looked up (Hebrew word is nasa, meaning to take up, carry, lift up) and saw the land.  This is parallel to Eve who looked up and saw the fruit from the tree of good and evil.  Lot craved for (or was carried away by) the land in as much as Eve craved for the forbidden fruit. Lot craved for this land even though it was near a wicked city and was beyond God's promised land.

In contrast, Abram's eyes were lifted by God and he saw the promised land prepared by God. This is why he was blessed by God.

Lot was willing to go beyond what God wants. Abraham's desires were God's desires.

Our source determines our course.  Abraham's source was God.  Lot's source was the land.   Lot decided to live near wickedness, because he craved for the land more than he craved for God.  Lot's course was towards wickedness. Lot's greed separated him from God.  At this point, I was asking myself, what is my land? What things are taking my eyes away from God?

For Abraham, God was more important than the land. Because Abraham knew that His source was a covenant-keeping God, he was able to gain God's promises.  God told Abraham:

“Look around from where you are, to the north and south, to the east and west. ¹⁵ All the land that you see I will give to you and your offspring forever. ¹⁶ I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth, so that if anyone could count the dust, then your offspring could be counted. ¹⁷ Go, walk through the length and breadth of the land, for I am giving it to you.”

Isn't God generous?  Most of the time, we compromise God and become greedy because we feel that God will not provide.  For example, some of us may want to marry established, handsome/beautiful, and "nice guys" or "nice girls" even though these guys/girls aren't Christians. We argue with God and insist on our own way because of our misguided desires.   But just because something looks good does not mean that it is God's best for you. God does not want to make us poor in any way! He wants to bless us!  Isn't this amazing?

Sometimes we may feel that we are being punished by God. But are we?  Or is our  poverty a result of our own bad decisions, a giving in to temptation?

 The good news is that we can repent.  God wants us back.  God wants you back.  God wants to bless you.
God's blessings will also allow us to be generous to others.  As God promised Abraham in Genesis 12:2:

"I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing."  

Be blessed!