| Identifying myself as a Christian has sometimes led me to acquire a holier-than-thou attitude. For instance, just because I have moved on from a particular challenge in my personal life quite easily makes me think that other Christians should be able to move on from similar challenges just as easily. I also have the tendency to “preach” and tell people how they should feel and what they should be doing when listening and reserving judgment would have been wiser.
Just look to Christ, geez!
I have my own biases about how things should be done, because I have this tendency to think, “I’ve been there, done that. You’ll get over it.” Or worse, “You’re just being plain un-Christian by putting yourself in that situation. Stop sulking and just look to Christ, geez.”
Being in relationships with others has revealed to me my lack of compassion and my tendency to condemn others of their faults. We each have our own personal relationship with Christ, and it is not mine to assume how God should move in a person’s life.
Someone who is emotional and in pain sometimes begins to doubt that God is in control all the time and that God is good all time. He needs God's Word to realize that these are truths regardless of his feelings and circumstances. But he most probably won’t truly realize this through my self-righteous postulations and hate attitude.
It's not only what I say that matters
I was called to be “salt and light”, to speak words that “build up” and encourage others, that show compassion rather than condemnation. Yes, there are times when I have to rebuke, especially when a person has given me permission to speak into his life or when I see that what someone has been doing is detrimental to himself and others as well. But I am asking God to help me towards a healthy balance of speaking what is true and speaking this truth in love. There are many ways of conveying the truth. I not only have to watch what I say but also think about how I say it and examine why I say it.
The perfect Christian
Observing my non-Christian friends rant about Christians, I think one of the common complaints is that Christians are self-righteous and tend to sound as if they’re perfect. I know I have the tendency to be like this, as well. But I thank God that He has been exposing this about me. I want to cut people some slack and be patient with them. This is hard for me, because I can be a bit of a control freak. It's also hard for me to hold my tongue when it comes to injustice and emotional abuse. But I know that even as I speak now, the Holy Spirit is doing His work to cultivate gentleness, self-control, and patience in me. I'm not saying that we should just be passive when faced with wrong. I'm just saying that we can't tell people to do the right thing by using the wrong means.
A text message
Last weekend, I was particularly touched by a friend’s text message. She knew that I was going through a challenging period, and she told me that she thought of me and couldn’t help but cry. I appreciated her message, not because she cried. But because I knew she was letting me know that she shared my burdens. I have given this person every right to rebuke me, but she knew that that wasn’t what I needed to hear at the moment. Listening to me the past days, she probably knew that I had rebuked myself enough and had been feeling God’s discipline.
There is a time to speak. There is the time to give advice. There is a time to challenge. There is a time to listen. There is a time to stay silent. At all times, I hope I never forget to love just as Christ loved me.
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love. ~ 1 Corinthians 16:13-14
