Going home

Today I was at a reputable University to decide on a job offer. As I passed by the school's halls, I couldn't help but take a glance at what was happening inside the classrooms. I was curious at what the professors were up to during the first week of classes.

Let me tell you that I was quite excited about this job. I felt that I liked it so much, I rescheduled another job interview with a company offering quite a high pay. Still, I couldn't help but feel a pang of envy as I watched these young professors leading their classes. Some were sitting on the tables (ahh...the benefits of being a college prof) or some were writing down course requirements on the board. The job I applied for was also connected to teaching, but it wasn't like my previous job as a high school teacher.

Anybody who has done any sincere teaching will tell you that being a teacher is special. It is not only a simple job, it is an advocacy. I love teaching. I love thinking about how I could make the complex simple, and when I fail, I love thinking and researching about how I can improve my lessons.

This year though, I had to leave teaching. I didn't have to if I wanted to, but for some reason, I just knew I had to pause for a while. I didn't want to stay where I was. I didn't want to get caught up in the daily grind for yet another school year. I had to plan and think and be more deliberate.

It was during the last months of summer that I enjoyed myself the most. I was active in church, I made new friends, I ate out a lot, I bonded with some of my students. This was the time that I focused on God the most. The joy I felt made me think that maybe I had made the wrong decision.

But all doubts were dashed when I reached home, unpacked my bags, and had a long rest in my own bed. For 11 years, I escaped from home. I wanted my freedom and independence. The circumstances haven't changed much. But now, I didn't have to escape to have freedom. The freedom I felt inside of me because of Christ was enough. I loved teaching, but if I stayed, it would be for the wrong reason. It was time to take that step of faith.

I am adjusting to being home again. I have just learned to appreciate God's comfort and provision during these silent times. Some may say I am a fool for leaving a decent job which I loved and which had all the chances for worldly promotion and reward. But my work is done there; it's time to move on.

Now, when I have breakfast with my mom everyday, and when my sister wakes me up in the middle of the night so that we could eat a choco and caramel sundae or watch a sitcom, and when I get to hug Chichi and Shobe everyday, I know that I am at the right place at the right time. And I could just thank God for this change of heart, because I never appreciated my family fully until this moment that He brought me home.

I love teaching, and God willing, I will be one of the best teachers I could be to my future students. But everything will be accomplished in God's time, not mine.

Regarding that job offer, I didn't accept it. I don't want to be arrogant, but as a good friend advised, I had to be at peace before I said yes to anything. When I heard their terms and conditions, I wasn't at peace at all. I wanted to pray and think before making a decision; they wanted me to sign the papers. Old me would have signed right away because of worry. I've learned though that making decisions on my own (without Godly friends and God) always got me into trouble.

So now here I am. And my two dogs are somewhere in this room snoring contentedly away. And I have all the time in the world to eat and write and blog and read and decide and pray. My mom's room is just at the end of the hallway, my books are within hindsight, my bible is on my own bed. I am home.

"Forget about what's happened; 

                                     don't keep going over old history.Be alert!

 I'm about to do something brand-new.

 It's bursting out! Don't you see it? There it is!

    I'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands. 

~ Isaiah 43:18-19 (The Message Translation)