Goodbye 2012 (plus a pic spam!)

I wrote this blog entry in January 2013 but never got around to posting it until now. I think this is the best period to be reminded :)

"A bride who is more interested in the gifts than the groom misses the point completely. I have missed the point repeatedly." 

This tweet from David Bonifacio sure woke me up today. Which bride is more excited about the wedding gifts than the groom himself? It only took me split-second to realize that I was that bride.

For the past days, I have been feeling a bit ungrateful because I had been feeling that I never really get what I desire the most.  I was pursuing the blessings from God,  forgetting that the biggest reward is God himself and that He is in control.    

So I thought about sharing the goodness of God first with this note of gratefulness. I want to honor God in my life, just to be reminded that He has been faithful since I came back here in Manila.

March-April 2011 -  So many changes I didn't expect. I was also going back to my family after 11 years of staying away. I didn't know where the road was taking me. I didn't even know if I really wanted to go.

May 2011 - Went on a retreat. Went running again, had "long dates" with God, had overnights at my Christian friends' house, listened to podcasts and worship music all day long.

 Unexpectedly, He gave me a disciple at the lowest point in my life.  He was pointing me in the right direction -- to the mountain top. It was an awesome spiritual revival, thanks to my supportive friends.

Ignite Youth Conference 2011

My Surprise Send-off Party -- also a time of prayer and believing God for disciples in my old job

June 2011 - Back home. Surprisingly, I got a freelance job as a contributor for a food mag. I was going to have pocket money -- yay. Best of all, I was finally going to fulfill my dream of writing about food and getting paid for it.

Being back at home was also an unexpected comfort (read: Going Home).

July 2011 - Decided to take on a new job (Read: My New Job).  Grateful for less stress at work. More time to do the things I want to do!

My new workmates who just love eating!

Started bible study sessions again, started meeting my high school and MA friends again.  My world expanded. Wrote a long blog entry about healing: When People We Love Hurt Us.

August 2011 - Renamed my blog Divine Amnesia.

October 2011 - I don't remember September much. But I do remember October.  I loved my birthday (read my birthday entry).

November 2011 - my first Christian concert! I blogged about it on Saved Festival 2011.

December 2011 - December was an exciting period for our Victory group! We launched our first VG outreach. It was also a time of bonding with new friends.

VG Pangarap, so named for our outreach in Pangarap Village

New year date with mom and a New Year card for my sister...who will also later on get to know Jesus :) 

2012 was a time for building and strengthening relationships, making disciples, and just enjoying the day-to-day blessings.

January 2012

Prayer and Fasting 2012 with Ching and Ting!

Prayer and Fasting 2012 day 3 with Ting and family

February 2012

We had to split the big VG for bible study...here's our small VG called Hardcore with Ate Vivian. 

March 2012

Zambales trip with Tere and Shen...also met some nice new people!

VG Los Banos Valentine's Outreach activity

Meeting Early, a dormmate from college!

Growing VG Pangarap! 

Ang dami namin!!!

eating out with some VGmates, including my new 121 partner CHEEK! I love her!

more good times with high school friends

April 2012

Marianne's Wedding - meeting God's best is worth the wait!

More VG bonding nights!

Our VG watching Phoebe. First time I watched her perform. She's a jazz/wedding singer :)

Planetshakers and Israel Houghton concert with VG LB :)

with VG Pangarap

May 2012

basic photography lessons with Gail from Foreverday Photography

Month of the Oceans 2012...

...where we helped paint the longest dolphin mural :)

June 2012

VG Pangarap Outing

date with Ting and my inaanak Juju

High school barkada

July 2012

More outreach activities! This time, with my workmates!

painting a school in Payatas

The whole team :)

VG Maginhawa: The group that is really special to me this year. Before I left LB, someone prophesized that I would disciple 2-3 students. I wondered how that could be, when I was already leaving! Well, guess what. When God wills it, it will happen! My VG of UP students with some of my friends:

How it all started...a date with Ching and the three girls below :)

VG Maginhawa with my bestfriend Ting

At Burger Project with their Kuya Ian

I love these girls!

And of course, I had more fun times with my HS friends...if our VG is growing, so is our barkada!

our growing group

Mid-year fast with VG mates

 A time to recharge

August 2012

Started my capoeira lessons this month (read: Kicked in Capoeira class). I'm struggling, but I love them.  They help me develop patience and discipline.

With capoeira buddy Stella :)

Also...

VG relief operations for Typhoon Sendong victims

September 2012

Outing at Hidden Valley with office mates

assignment from VG maginhawa

first time to watch a play at CCP

Mom's 56th birthday

October 2012

Beyond Borders projects (now called The Isaiah 41 Project) brainstorming starts with Ian, Jho, and Kate. This outreach project in Sibuyan Island, Romblon was proposed to us by Kate. We're off to help an IP community with their classroom materials! Pray for us!

 Logo 

My first 3k run...

with Sorority sisters and...

officemates :)

Cheek's Victory Weekend! woohoo!

Cheek's water baptism

with VG during my birthday and other VGmates' birthdays! 

birthday date with my very good friend Leo

November 2012

My first 5k run...

haggard but happy!

with buddy  Raiza :)

December 2012

A VG wedding - Joc and Oliver's

VG Christmas Outreach 2012 -- the second year!

SPIN Collaborative Cascade with my sister - a gathering of individuals and social entrepreneurs who are changing the world!

Christmas Day with my family

This was also the month that I got promoted in my job. So yay for that :)

To end my uber long pic spam, I just realized that I have a lot to be grateful for.  God replaced my sadness with all of these meaningful activities and more importantly, these wonderful, beautiful people. My life wouldn't have been this awesome without them.

Thank you to all of you who were part of my 2012 :)

More than all of these people and things though, I learned or was reminded of four very important things:

1) God is my Provider - I was never in lack!
2) God is my Comforter - I am always at peace when I give up everything to God
3) God is my Strength -  I can always depend on him!
4) God is Faithful - even when I am not!

Thank you God for loving me this much.

I now empty myself of everything that happened in 2012 to make way for newer, greater, and better things.  There is only one Person I want to be expectant about, and that is God.

Here's to 2013 :)

You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy... -  Psalms 30:11

kicked in capoeira class

"You don't really have to do it, you just have to demonstrate that you can do it"

These were my instructor's words to us in Capoeira class today. What he wanted us to demonstrate was that we could take down our the other player while this player was doing a basic kick.  We didn't know when the kick would come; but we had to keep our eyes on the "opponent" (as you always had to do in Capoeira), escape the kick by going down on the floor on a bent knee, make a sweeping motion with your other foot, and hook it up with the other player's foot that was still on the floor, thereby taking him down. Since we were just "demonstrating", we didn't really have to literally sweep the other player off his feet. We had to stop in mid-movement, when one of our feet was touching our partner's foot.

photo from Adventures in Brazil

So there I was doing the ginga (the basic capoeira move) with my partner and waiting for the kick to come. 

"Keep your eyes on your opponent." Important instructions; I took note of it.

 I escaped a few kicks, before bam.  I didn't know what hit me. Well I did. It was my partner's leg which connected with the right side of my cheek.

It was just a practice session, and the other player didn't really unleash the full potential of his kick.  He's way, way better than I am, so I know that had we been in a real game, that kick would probably have hurt. My cheek smarted a little, but the tingling was gone in a few minutes. 

I knew that Capoeira was a martial art, but I didn't expect to get really kicked in class. I guess up to this point, I felt that since I was just a beginner, I wouldn't get into those kinds of situations yet. But I did, and it wasn't the other player's fault. I didn't act reflexively enough. I was too slow. My mind was wandering. I didn't really keep my eyes on him.  I was caught unprepared. I underestimated the situation.  I was too caught up with myself thinking about how to escape, I forgot that the other player had his own plans too.

Leg to face shouldn't have been a surprise given the situation.  

Well, guess what, I told myself.  Whether you're a noob or not, there's always that possibility that you'll be thrown a curve ball. Or in this case, a sideways kick. And even when you somewhat expect it, it could come at the most inopportune moment. Which is why, you'd always have to be ready. Eyes on the other player, practice your escape, and think about how you could take him down or simply have fun. That's Capoeira. You will get kicked one day. Next time, it might even be worse -- a broken ankle, a bruised ego, knocked unconscious, who knows? 

We went on practicing, and this time, I kept my eyes focused on my partner's face. Locked eyes; doing our ginga dance; mirroring each other; him, thinking about when to throw another Martelo; me, waiting for the kick to come.   

I didn't get hit again, probably because the other player was also more careful this time.  He was really apologetic about accidentally kicking me.  I was also more determined to watch out for his leg and escape.

I felt exhilarated even during that short practice session.  I couldn't do every move in class and many times, I still mixed up my right from my left.  Plus, today, I was kicked on the face for the very first time. But Capoeira was still fun. I could forgive the other person for kicking me, because he obviously didn't mean it. Besides, the possibility of me getting hurt was part of the game. The more important thing was, I moved on.  I still wanted to play.

First Dream in 2013

I had a vivid dream last night, the first dream I remember among hundreds I must have forgotten in my sleepy meanderings.

I went into a school library, just a small room in one of our country's rural areas.  I vaguely remember tinges of baby blue, a few books and chairs, and surprisingly, an aircon that I didn't know but soon noticed still worked.  The students were all grade school boys, and I immediately got along with them. There was a lady guard or a librarian -- I forget -- who spoke to me and confided that the students lacked school supplies. Before I could say anything, around 2-4 public school teachers came in. They didn't look surprised to see me. In fact, one of them (a young woman whose face I could still somewhat recall) seemed to know me. At least that was the impression that I got.  They didn't say much when I told them that I should get going. The teacher who seemingly knew me was too busy with a student. Something in her face told me that she was disappointed in me. She couldn't even look me in the eye. The students were sad to see that I was leaving. I was sad that I was leaving.